Like I Don't Already Have Enough on My Plate!

It's mornings like this one which remind me why I am thinking about going back to work.  It began with Kyle asking me a question and I responded my, "I don't know because my mind is mush."  I would like to retell what the question was, but I can't remember with my mush-mind.  Here are some other highlights:

• Cheerios littered around the entire first floor like confetti after a party.  Shouting at me saying, "Ha-ha!  You thought you could keep the floor clean for more than 12 hours!  Fool!"
• Indecisive two year-olds who ask for a smoothie (which by the way literally takes more time to clean up than it does to make, but I do it with love because it's a great breakfast...fruit, yogurt...yum!) but decide a smoothie is not how they want to wash down their Cheerios (apparently some went down their throats instead of on the floor).
• Cleaning the shower stall, one of my least favorite activities, with a toothbrush no less.  Not as clean as I want it to be, but it will suffice for another six months.

So I am thinking of going back to work, not only to hopefully bring back some of those brain cells which got me my Master's degree, but to bring back some of the sanity I feel like I'm missing in my life.

It is certainly not for the money, I think after we hire a nanny, lawn boy, housekeeper, cook, food shopper, social planner and chauffeur we will be out a couple more bucks than I bring in.

Wish me luck!

Happy Dance!

I was cleaning up under our dinner table today and found some bits under my two year-old boy's chair.  I couldn't guess what they were and almost pulled out the camera to have a little contest on my blog, but decided to spare you the suspense and me the embarrassment of how dirty under my table can get.

Oh my, you should see it sometimes!

Anyway, as I was cleaning, I started thinking about the boy's eating habits and how no one would guess what a picky eater he is.  Actually I don't think he is particularly picky, it's the way he eats which is peculiar.  He tends to graze throughout the day and not like to sit down for meals.  This may explain the size of his belly considering he likes to eat all day long!!!

Then as I continued cleaning (under the table was pretty disgusting), I thought about my cooking and the way my children eat and one glaring thing came to mind.

I can't please everyone.

While I wouldn't consider my kids picky, some may.  Picky or not, I have a "take it or leave it" rule for dinner.  I worked hard to cook this meal, Dad worked hard to pay for this meal...no complaints.  But we still get complaints.  Every day.  I can't please everyone.

But on those rare, rare days when I do please everyone (or at least 4 out of the 5), we call it a "happy dance dinner."  Each of the kids dances with a silly arm push maneuver which Lance inspired, and the meal goes down in history on the "Happy Dance Dinner" list.

I should say that my other two year-old will dance to anything put on her plate.  She's like that, she will dance to anything.

Currently on our list are:

• frittata (so random, I know)
• baked ziti
• inside-out cheeseburgers
• spaghetti
• breakfast for dinner
• tacos
• pizza (of course)

We are having one of the happy dance meals tonight...tacos!  Very messy though...under the table will be a mess tonight!

Feliz cinco de mayo!  Grab a margarita and celebrate!

The BEST Sugar Cookies!

If you read yesterday's blog, you know much I was dreading the sporting events I was responsible for transporting three of my children to.  The good news is, with a bit of my better-half's help, it went very smoothly.

Even better news is that Kyle won his game which leaves them undefeated.  (Okay, they've only played two games.)  He was up five times and only struck out once!  Yay!  Although the weather was unbelievably chilly last night, all in all it was a good night.


The best news is that the sugar cookies I made for Kyle's team LOVED the sugar cookies.  I know, I know...10 year-old boys would pretty much eat anything, especially after a night baseball game.  But I "tasted them for poison" as did a couple other of my family members and they adored them as well.

Lots of good news for the evening.  A little bit of bad news...the cookies were so good, there aren't many left.  More good news, they were easy to make!

Here's the recipe, courtesy of yesterday's The Washington Post:

Chewy Sugar Cookies

Ingredients:

• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 large egg
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 to 1 cup turbinado or coarse sugar, for rolling

Directions:

Position oven racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven; preheat to 375 degrees. Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper.

Combine the butter, granulated sugar and light brown sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer or hand-held electric mixer. Beat on medium-low speed for 1 minute, then stop to scrape down the sides of the bowl and the beater(s). Beat for 1 minute, then stop to scrape down the sides of the bowl.

Add the vanilla extract and beat for 1 minute, then stop to scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the egg and beat for 1 minute, then stop to scrape down the sides of the bowl.

Add the flour, salt and baking soda. Beat for 1 minute, then stop to scrape down the sides of the bowl. Beat for 1 minute.

Place the turbinado or coarse sugar in a shallow bowl.

Use a small cookie/ice cream scoop (about 1 1/2 inches in diameter) to scoop 24 equal-size balls of dough, dropping a few of them at a time into the sugar. Gently roll to coat evenly, then place 12 balls on each prepared baking sheet, spaced 1 1/2 inches apart. Discard the remaining rolling sugar.

To ensure chewy middles, do not compress or flatten the balls. Bake for 4 to 5 minutes, then rotate the baking sheets from top to bottom and front to back. Bake for 4 to 5 minutes, until the cookies are just golden on the bottoms. The tops will not have picked up much color.

Transfer the baking sheets to wire racks. When the cookies have cooled, store in an airtight container.

Super Mom I Ain't

Tonight is one of those nights a mother of more than one child fears.  It's sports season ladies and gentlemen and that can only mean one thing...games and practices in three different locations!

That's right...Kyle has a baseball game at 6:00, warm up at 5:30 in the town west of here, Trent has a lacrosse practice at 6:00 in the town east of here and Lance has T-ball practice at 6:30 in town.  Okay, I think I can manage all of that transporting, especially if Coach Steve takes Trent to lacrosse.

The trick is going to be picking Lance and Kyle up at 7:30...hmmm, not so manageable.  My former boss just called me because she had dreamt about me last night.  I had super-powers, jumping over buildings and such, but I'm not such a superhero in real life.  Even I can't be in two places at once.

Oh, and did I mention I also am supposed to supply snacks and drinks to Kyle's team after the game?

Is it wrong for me to wish it would just rain?

Reducing Our Footprint - Part 3

One other thing I started last year was a garden.  I'm sure you will remember pictures from last year and the day-long struggle my wonderful husband had trying to till our new garden.

This year's garden was much easier to till thanks in part to last year's garden and compost.

My fantastic compost, if I if do say so myself!

I began composting after reading how much water and electricity it saves from not using the disposal as much, and the reduction of compostable waste in the trash can.  It's remarkable, I really noticed a difference right away.

I bought a plastic compost bin from Costco.com and was super-excited to get it.  I did some research on what was compostable, all veggie/fruit scraps and breads are allowable, but no meat or dairy because they don't break down very well and attract vermin.  I also learned that if you layer your compost, green layer (grass clippings, food scraps) then brown layer (straw, leaf clippings) you will see better results.

My compost bin looks like this:

My compost bin was a very interesting science project in my backyard last summer.  It would never cease to amaze me how quickly the pile would fall.  I would fill it up to the rim with grass clippings and hay and in three days it had fallen several inches.  I loved going out there to see what progress was being made.

Until the maggots showed up.

Yep, maggots.  Loads and loads of them.  Sickening little wormy things devouring my food scraps.  Wait!  Was that a bad thing or a good thing?  A little internet research showed they were "black soldier fly maggots" and were the sign of a healthy compost pile.  Some people even get buy these fantastic creatures through mail order to benefit their compost pile.

Don't believe me?  Check this out!  http://www.grist.org/article/black-fly-magic/

All winter long we composted as well.  Although the progress went slower because it was colder, I was still amazed how far it fell.  The only time we didn't compost was when the snow storms hit and the compost bin was two feet under snow.  Even then we left a bucket outside for food scraps which we transferred to the compost bin after the thaw.

The result in the spring was amazing!  Not only did we save loads and loads of trash from the landfill and countless of gallons of water wasted, but we ended up with rich compost to spread on our garden.  The thick nutrient-rich soil will hopefully help to produce a wonderful garden bounty this summer and fall.

Emptying the compost bin was a little tricky.  I tried using the little doors on the sides, but they were small and cumbersome.  Eventually I just picked the darn thing up and moved it to another part of our lawn.  I was pleased to see most had composted well, with the exception of a corn cob or large pumpkin.  I was not so pleased to see little mice scampering away, I counted seven but I'm sure there were more I didn't see.  I'm not a big fan of mice, but I'm sure they are good for the compost pile.  Thankfully I wasn't thinking about something else that hides in a compost pile...snakes!  I am really not a big fan of snakes, so I'll take the mice.

Once the compost was fully spread on the garden, Steve tilled it all in about 45 minutes.  A lot less time than last year!  I will update how our garden is doing as it grows.

Until then, start a compost pile!

Reducing Our Footprint - Part 2

As I posted earlier, I have become very conscious of the environmental impacts of having such a large family.  We have made some gradual changes which will not only benefit our family, but Mother Earth as well.

Watching the movie "Food, Inc." is a fantastic way to get motivated to feed your family naturally and  locally grown food.  As I have said before, two farmers markets a week in my town in addition to the farm stands and milk co-op I belong to are a great start.  But I was ready to jump into something more.

So I bought a side of beef.

I heard lots of jokes about the front half or the back half, the left side or the right side, courtesy of my mother.  My answer was always, "Knowing me, the left side.  I'm saving the back side for you."

She makes me punchy sometimes.

I contacted a friend of a friend, and now a friend of mine, who owns a small Angus beef farm less than 3 miles from my house.  The cattle are all grass fed without the use of antibiotics, except in the rare case of an eye infection.  They are lovingly born and raised on this farm, with the exception of those pesky heifers who neglect their babies.  Those calves are reluctantly bottle-fed by my friend with lots of cussing about that "heifer who I'm getting rid of very soon."

Once deciding to purchase a side of beef, I had to become schooled very quickly about cuts of beef and what I wanted.  Basically, a side of beef is about 250 lbs. with about 20% lost in the processing.  I would receive about 80 lbs. in ground beef and the rest in roasts and steaks.  I had to decide if I wanted the prime rib roast put into steaks or not (that was a no for me, we'll use it at Christmas if not before), how thick I wanted my steaks (2 in.), and how much of my ground beef I wanted put into patties and how big they should be (half of the meat in 1/2 lb. patties).

My cow was ready last week.  With specific instructions on how many coolers to bring and armed with my gloves to protect my hands from the frozen beef, my twins and I set off to Hagerstown to the Amish butcher who prepared my meat for me.  I was looking forward to my trip, aware of a story brewing.

Once we got to the Amish butcher, I was immediately struck by a note on the door.  To paraphrase, "Please respect us by dressing modestly and refraining from the use of profanity."  The profanity part was not a problem, but the modesty?  I certainly was not dressed like they were.  With my shin-bearing capri pants and my v-neck short-sleeved shirt, I was exceptional aware of each square inch of skin exposed.  What was I to do?  So I walked in.

The people there couldn't have been more friendly.  With a "Good day!" here and a "How are you doing?" there, I completely felt at ease.  Really, really nice bunch of people.  A young woman brought out a large cart of my beef and told me to just leave it when I was finished.  As I'm loading my beef in the five coolers I have brought with me, Kate is chasing after a barn cat (very cute) and Luke is moving the cart all around (not so cute and completely dangerous).  I say, "Shoot Luke, you're going to get hurt,"  and instantly my mind goes back to the sign on the front of the shop...refrain from the use of profanity.

I am not good at being Amish!

Back at home, freezer full of lots of beef.  Beef short ribs cooking up tonight.  Dee-lish!  I think we will do this every year.

BUT, I will watch my language and dress more modestly next time.
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Post Script - As I typed this, I kept tying "beer" instead of "beef".  I think I'm thirsty.

Mid-Life Crisis?

I was reading the paper today about a celebrity doing something absolutely ridiculous.  The author surmised it was because they were having a mid-life crisis.  I can't remember was the circumstances for the silly behavior or exactly who the celebrity was because all that stands out in my head is the person's age...38...which happens to be exactly my age.

Mid-life crisis?  Seriously?  How can this be?  I feel like I'm 23, with a whole lot more living to do.  Heck I still get zits!  Forget those five crazy little rugrats around me who insist on calling me mom!  Forget those crow's feet next to my eyes!  Forget the gray hairs I've cleverly covered by the box of Garnier every six weeks or so!

I cannot be middle-aged!  I don't have a red sports car, still driving a mini-van filled with kids who still need to be buckled in.  I am not a cougar looking for the cutest twenty-something guy out there, still happily married after almost 13 years.  I have not had plastic surgery to fix things perceived to be broken, still carrying war wounds of a twin pregnancy.  Nope, no mid-life crisis here!

Okay, the life expectancy of a typical American is about 76 and that number divided by two is...yep.  Got it.  Does that mean I've hit my mid-life?  Is there a crisis looming?  Is this something to look forward to?

Maybe I've forgotten about how those rugrats, wrinkles and gray hairs for age is just a number and I have not hit a mid-life crisis.  I'll blame my forgetfulness on my aging mind.

Happy Earth Day!

In honor or Earth Day and minimizing the amount of dastardly disposable diapers we put in the landfill each day, I am going to attempt to potty train our last child.

This will not be an easy task.  If you have any extra good ju-ju vibes to send along, they would be appreciated!

Luke, the last remaining assaulter of Mother Earth in our family!

Nobody

Where I live if you don't know someone famous, you're a nobody.  Lots of Redskins live around here and plenty of famous Hollywood stars have their second or third or fourth home here.  All of my friends know at least one of these "celebrities", but not me.  I'm a nobody.

The closest times I have come to a celebrity encounter was first when I was about 18 years-old and saw Willard Scott in Albany airport.  He winked at me and said hello.  Steve was there to witness it and my jealous then-boyfriend did nothing but laugh at him hitting on me.  The second time my friend Kathleen and I saw Tyra Banks in the lobby of a fancy hotel we were staying in.  I said, "She looks like Naomi Campbell" about ten seconds before she got on an elevator as someone yells, "We love you Tyra!"  Yep, I'm a nobody.

Even my husband has better celebrity stories than me.  When he was in college, he went to a concert in Charlottesville and Dave Matthews was there.  The girls he was with were googly-eyed over him and dared Steve to go talk to him.  So he did, told him his name and that he was going to see him the next night at Dave's concert, and walked away.  Later on that night, Dave came up to Steve and started dancing with him!  At the concert the next night he said to the crowd, "This goes out to my friend Steve who's out there somewhere."

I'm a nobody, but at least I'm married to somebody!

Reducing Our Footprint

Call me "crunchy" if you must...I consider myself to be a pretty earth-friendly person.  I believe in recycling, reducing and reusing whenever possible.  Although I love my plethora of children, I feel bad about the effect our large family has on the environment. Our carbon footprint has got to be as big as a papa tyrannosaurus rex's footprint, and so I work very hard to teach my children about reducing our effects on Mother Earth with my actions and my words.

When we began our vegetable garden, I also started a compost bin.  The effect has been amazing in reducing the amount of trash at our curb each week with the added bonus of less water and electricity using our disposal and less in our sewer system.  Our compost bin has amazed me in so many ways, but I'll save that for another post.

I also started using organic food whenever possible.  This includes belonging to a milk co-op where I pick up my 14 gallons of milk and two dozen eggs every other week.  I believe that organic milk is not only better for the environment and the animals from which it comes, but it is also better for my family.

This really hit home with me after watching the movie "Food, Inc."  If you haven't seen this movie, I really recommend you do.  I waited a long time to watch it because I was afraid I would be disturbed by some of the images, but it was such an eye-opening experience for me.

Whether or not you believe in global warning, two things stuck with me about this movie.  The first is the overuse of antibiotics in animals we eat has led to a large level of antibiotic resistance in people and the second was the unfortunate demise of small farms.

Our family lives in such an agricultural area.  Heck!  Our town has two farmer's markets a week!  Cows, chickens and pigs are all around in addition to all of the local produce!  It would not be difficult for me to support our local farmer buying local produce and meats.

So I started my quest, a couple of visits to our farmer's market, more ordering from my milk co-op, a quick browse from our local environmental council and voila!  I was well on my way to more local and organic food in my kitchen.

Part 2 - My next step..

Household Democracy

Trent, not walking on water...yet!

My big boys decided on Sunday to hold an election for President of our family.  Now I'm not really sure who put the idea in their heads that our house was a democracy, much less that the one elected President would have any authority.  If they had more brains than egos, they would realize this household is a dictatorship run completely within my rein with a teensy bit of control from my dearest husband.  (Love you Honey!)

So they had speeches.  Lance's platform was based solely on health care.  "If I am elected, we will only eat strawberries and healthy food."  Love it!  Trent decided on a much more structured speech with laws which read like this (taken straight from his notes):

1. have to have as money signed by the president
2. all bills are going to have to be signed by the president
3. everyone should listen to all speeches
4. if anyone is mistreated you go to jail
5. you must pay taxes

I'm not exactly sure what Kyle's platform was, at this point Steve was discovered listening in and was banned from all further speeches.

Apparently Kyle's speech was worse than enacting healthy habits or living in Trent's kingdom.  Maybe he was so appalled at Trent's speech, he became speechless...ba-dum-dum!

Elections were held and a victor was decided.  Apparently those polled enjoy the dictatorship because they chose to elect Trent, my dear sweet Alpha male!  

Now it was time to make a Constitution:

Weller people over the years have come from Germany and Spain.  On April 18, 2010 me Trent Weller became 1st president of the Wellers.  I was very surprised I won.  I wrote laws for everyone need to follow.  I am sure Kyle Weller will win (I think he means the next elections here, but not sure).  I think the most importantest (sic) one is every one need to be treated fairly.

Trent Weller

(Written on back)  Will never had more success with his work for the 6 hours I have had my job.  Been taking my job very seriously.  I will change over the next 6 days.

Now I'm speechless, but I really do like the word "importantest"!

My little girl is sick.  I thought it was just allergies until the fever showed up this morning.  I can't tell you exactly what the number is, I don't really take temperatures.  My children either have fevers or they don't...if it gets too high I might give them Tylenol or Motrin.  I don't really do that much either.  I think we get fevers for a reason, to fight off infection, so why would I want to get rid of that?

So I'm not a big temperature taker and I'm not a big medicine giver.  Glad we got that covered.

Anyway, my little girl is sick.  She's done nothing but cling to me and snuggle on the couch.  Like this:

And while I'm sure this will inspire lots of "oooohs" and "ahhhhs", all I can think is, "Please don't puke on the new sofa!"

Novel Idea

I'm not very good at keeping secrets.  My secrets, that is.  Tell me a secret of yours and it's in the vault, only to be spilled when permission is granted.  But my secrets are less sacred, less important and certainly less juicy.

My latest secret is that I'm writing a book.  A novel.  Fiction, based on stories, feelings and experiences I have experienced or gone through with friends.

That's it.  That's the plot.  Juicy, huh?

Really that's all there is to it because the rest is still getting formulated in my head...characters, setting, time frame, etc.

I know this is real because I bought a notebook to start writing down all of my ideas for my novel.  In the moments of calmness in my house (usually while I'm in the shower or driving), I constantly come up with dramatic sentences or ideas.

So my secret is out, the notebook is bought.  Expect me to be on the best seller's list very soon!

Because, seriously, the notebook is bought.

Change

We've reached another milestone in my babies' lives.  One of those ones which they won't even blink an eye to, but I needed to take very small baby steps to get there.

We took down the cribs.

Luke has the crib each of my other boys has slept in.  It means the world to me.  It was the one baby article I couldn't part with even though I knew we weren't going to have any more children when we moved four years ago.

You can stop laughing now.

I figured it was time to move the babies out of their cribs when they would wake up every morning complaining of sleeping in the fetal position every night.  Not because it was more comfortable, but because it was the only way to keep from banging their heads and feet on each ends.

Not really, but you get the idea.

I took the job slowly, knowing it was going to be emotional...for me, of course!  I took the mattresses out and put them on the floor side-by-side and they slept like that for a couple of nights.  My job got a whole lot easier as I walked into this every morning:

If you need a closer look because this one just make you say, "Awww!" out loud, try this:

Seriously, does it get any cuter than that?  Sheesh!

Moving them into big kid beds turned sweeter and sweeter as we added my dad's childhood bed for Luke and Steve's grandmother's bed for Kate which match like we had angels looking over us through this move.  Steve's mom had made two gorgeous quilts to finish the beds which even sweetened the job more.

So my babies are out of their cribs and now sleeping in twin-size beds.  How 'bout that?  The best thing is I'm handing them down to my friend who is have twins in a couple of months so they will be put to good use with another set of lucky babies.

My job of moving the babies out of their cribs turned from bitter to bittersweet to sweet.  I love being a mom!

Blossoming Silence

I was sitting in the Quaker Meeting House yesterday morning enjoying the silence.  It really is quite peaceful to sit there with about 50 other people in complete silence.  Well, almost complete silence.

As I sat there in peace, I realized I was actually listening.  Sounds...lots of them...echoing in my ears.  But not the sounds you would expect.

When we were contemplating going to the Friends' Meeting House and talking to many people about it, the one thing people always mentioned was the clock.  A beautiful wooden clock hanging on the wall with a very loud tick-tock.  The clock can be maddening for some, but for me it brings much peace.  It reminds me of the steady passing of time, the heartbeat of this building and the history within.

The first time I attended a Meeting, I was struck less by the expected clock but more by the crackle of the fire in the fireplace.  The steady ticking of the clock accompanied by the random crackle of the fire were wonderful ambiance to the peaceful silence.

Yesterday I was struck by another sound, a sound which made me so happy I wanted to stand and dance (not a very popular move during the silent worship).  Birds!  Singing!  Outside!  Yippee!  Spring is here!

The sounds of the birds singing made me smile and I began thinking.  The "silence of sounds" is beginning to feel like a springtime blossom to me, opening slow and steady with a big finale.

Maybe that's the point, my journey down the road to Quakerism is meant to be slow and steady.  I will not become a Quaker overnight, it will take years to adjust to the Testimonies of Peace, Simplicity, Equality, and Integrity.  Personal challenges of becoming a more compassionate and caring person, along with letting go of some of my biases and material "wants".

With the work I have to do, I may be a later bloomer!

Easter Idea

Easter is just around the corner and I can't wait, another step closer to my beloved Spring!


Filling the Easter baskets, however, isn't my favorite thing to do as a parent.  There is so much candy out there to enjoy (jellybeans, Peeps, and those wonderful Reese's eggs!), but I like to put a couple of things in there to replace some of the multitudes of candy.  This year my bigger kids are going to be surprised with these:

They come is a cute tin box and inside are plastic stencils to make funny faces and animals.  I lucked out and found another one in the same kind of box with spirograph-type activities too:

Tell the Easter Bunny he can find them at  www.uncommongoods.com  Love that place for unusual gifts!

Happy Easter!

Heaven?

Lance: Mom when I die, I know where I'm going.

Me: Heaven?

Lance: No, Target.  They have lots of toys so it's like heaven and I'll get to see you there a lot.

Me: True, Honey.  Very true.

(This marks my 100th post!  WOW!)

Struggling for the Right Currency

Usually I write things I am happy about, proud of, or little things I find funny.  Sometimes writing helps me to wrap my head around things and put it all into perspective.  Today I am writing to sort out my mind with the goal that maybe I will actually be able to sleep tonight.

I am a stay at home mom, I take pride in my children, my home, the food I cook, and even the laundry (see last post), and I feel very fortunate we are able to have me at home.  Recently, however, I am feeling quite humble and in need of resources on how to handle my eight year-old.  I am not being the mom I want to be to him, nor my other children because this has been such an ordeal.

Trent is a wonderful kid and I love him to my core.  At school, he excels in without effort, has many friends, and is polite around others.  We are very proud of him, but at home I am finding myself left with feelings of frustration, sadness, and anger.  Trent is not the same boy he is when he is at school.  I have always noticed a huge power struggle between him and his brothers to become "alpha male," but the difference with Trent is he does whatever it takes to win.  He will say mean things, become physical, or steal things away, just to have the upper hand.   It causes a lot of conflict between him and his older and younger brother.

My struggle with Trent is his total disregard for his misplaced belongings.  His room has never been tidy and we have always had to remind him to clean up after himself, but recently it's been more than that.  Shoes in the middle of the room or milk left out may not seem like much, but when it is compounded by the backpack and jacket left in the foyer and a crumpled up cracker on the counter (for no particular reason than "it was there") I get very frustrated.

It feels personal, though I know it's not.  I don't think Trent is intentionally leaving his things around with malice, knowing it will drive me crazy.  I have resorted to taking his things and hiding them or just throwing them away.  Yesterday I took out his homework from his backpack and hid it from him and gave it back to him once he returned from school in the afternoon.  Within ten minutes, the backpack was still left in the family room, along with his alternative bag which held the next day's homework.  I took away everything, hoping it will make a bigger impact since the last punishment didn't seem to work.

With five kids and being a former special education teacher, I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve.  My friends come to me asking for advice on discipline and my usual response is to find some "currency" which is important to the child.  This is a struggle for me with Trent.  The loss of TV or video games doesn't seem to effect him, the loss of friends to come over is pointless because there is always someone to play with here and Trent likes to be alone a lot.

I think the currency for Trent is the "cool factor," he needs to be cool.  My internal struggle is how do I punish my son and still have him maintain his self-confidence and still have me maintain the loving and nurturing mother I want to be?  How do I take away an element of cool without taking away a piece of him I can never get back?  How do I teach him respect and kindness with respect and kindness?

My Obsession

Okay, here's a crazy thing about me...

I am in love with laundry.

It's a good thing I am so obsessed with this chore.  With my three adventurous boys and my two year-old twins, one who can't eat a raisin without making a mess and the other who decided months ago she was potty-trained but has had on three pairs of pants today (in addition my second outfit due to an extremely unfortunate episode at the bus stop this morning), I have a lot of laundry to do.

Surely I would much rather be sitting poolside with a cocktail and a good book or watching American Idol (go Lee!), but my fantasies of laundry fairies haven't appeared yet and the piles keep piling up.  I hate the piles...darks...lights...whites...bleh!  They accumulate on my bathroom floor a day after I have done every dirty stitch in the house because our hamper just isn't big enough.

Laundry is almost a daily chore for me.  I do two or three loads every day and about ten loads on "laundry day" which is about once a week.  I find myself obsessing about it, often wanting to put cute status updates on my Facebook and Twitter accounts.  Thankfully, I am sane enough to realize how uncool and unsexy it would be and hold back.  Must give the impression of cool and sexy!

I think the reason I like laundry is it's the only thing around I have to tend to which will wait for me.  It doesn't say no.  It doesn't scream my name needing attention.  It can be ignored once in a while, always being there when I'm ready for it.  I like the fresh, clean smells of the warm clothes as they come out.  I also like the challenge of the stubborn stain, mixing up concoctions to see if they come out.  I'm particular about my laundry too, making faces at my husband if he even opens the cabinet where I keep my laundry supplies.

It's a crazy obsession, but it works for me.  Now if only I could get obsessed with the sink load of dishes waiting for me.

Any dish fairies out there??

Religious Education - Part 3

Home

This is going to be the hardest part of "Religious Education" to write and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it fully.  The reason it has taken me so long to finish is I wanted to make sure we told our parents instead of springing this upon them through the internet.  Maybe it's not such a big deal to most people and I'm making much more of their reactions than necessary.  It's really all I can think about, the comfort and gut-feeling this is where we belong, so it feels big than life to me.  So here goes:

We are starting to attend a Quaker/Friends Church...ahem, Meeting House.  We made our decision after a lot of soul-searching, research and talking to friends who are Quakers.  I am hesitant to talk about this because Quakers are a very enigmatic group.  Really, I had never known any Quakers or heard anything about them other than eating Quaker Oatmeal for breakfast.

There are many differences between a Protestant Church and a Friends' Meeting House, so let me give a brief synopsis.  Quakers are Christians, but they believe each of us has a Divine Spirit within.  When attending a Meeting for Worship, the service is mainly silent (no preacher) with the occasional interjection from a member of the congregation who feels moved to speak possibly by the the Divine Spirit within.  Only one person spoke last week, she had no script or paper to read from but the words which flowed out her mouth were like poetry.  Lovely!

Quakers live with four Testimonies, sort of like a creed.  The four testimonies are: the Testimony of Peace, the Testimony of Equality, the Testimony of Simplicity, and the Testimony of Integrity/Truth.  If you would like to read more about Quakers, check out Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quakers

The single most thing which has struck me has been how well the Testimonies mesh with our values.  The silence can be a little intimidating, especially for us with five children, but it is actually very peaceful.  How many of us wouldn't love to have an hour of silence in a gorgeous room filled your family and friends without a sink load of dishes or dirty laundry hovering over us?

The greatest joy is how the children enjoy going to Meeting, much more than any other Sunday School they attended.  There is a children's program which begins after the first 15 minutes of the silence.  They learn lessons on empathy and cooperation, using activities, Bible verses and other religious writings and to expand the lesson.  Our oldest son, whom we lovingly refer to as "Kyro the Pyro," especially loves the fireplace burning in the First Day School room.

This has been a life-changing decision for me, but a will probably evolve as we experience and adjust to the Quaker life.  As Steve said, it feels "weird" to say we are Quakers...much like we are in a cult or something.  We have attended only twice but it feels more like home each time, I think it will take a long time to be comfortable calling ourselves Quaker.

I look forward to sharing our journey with you.

Progress!

Just wanted to update you on our latest progress on the basement.  I say "our", but I really mean Steve.  He has been busting tail to get it so that we can at least start moving furniture and boxes into the space.  Maybe by the spring equinox (happy birthday Joyce!), I will have my car back in the garage.  Ironic considering the winter we've had!  Here are the highlights (i.e. my favorite parts):

 

The bathroom.  He needs to tile the shower area and then the plumber can come and hook up everything.

The entrance from the foyer into our basement.  We decided to go with a paned window so people realized the stairs were right there.  It kind of opens it up a little in there as well.

This is the pantry area.  One of my favorite parts.

This is my other favorite part, the bar.  Wine cooler goes in the space on the right, just waiting for a little bit of trim to go up.  Who's ready for some margaritas???

The bedroom.

We are waiting for a stair company to build our banisters for Steve to install and then we will be ready for carpet.  Not too much longer!

Religious Education - Part 2

Part 2 - Our Next Step

So we left St. James, feeling kind of burnt from our whole experience.  We wrote a letter to our priest explaining our departure and continued to remain close with the friends we had made there, but we were left without a church.

Then my dad got sick.  I suppose the absence of church during this painful time would have been felt more if I had more of a relationship with God, but one less thing off my plate was probably a good thing for me.  When he died, our family decided on a funeral at the funeral home rather than in a church.  He wasn't a religious man so this arrangement suited him well.  In the end, I think he probably would have thought there was too much religion mentioned during the service we had.

Shortly after my father's death, we moved to Purcellville.  Once we had settled in, which happened to be after our twins were born, we decided to try the local Episcopalian church.  Steve had called the priest before this decision and told him of our concerns based on our last experience at St. James.  The priest said that our new church was very open and seemed to mesh with our morals and ideas.  We made the decision to go to St. Peter's, celebrated the twins' christening, and volunteered at coffee hour and Children's Chapel.  It seemed like this was a good place for our family.

I continued to have the same hesitations about God, but wanted to keep an open mind.  I enjoyed meeting new people, especially the ladies who would come up to me to tell me what a lovely family I have.  Our family participated in church celebrations, family picnics and Vacation Bible School.  The babies liked going to the nursery and the older kids seemed to be making some friends.

Last summer there was a national convention of Bishops and other leaders of the Episcopal church who discussed, among other things, whether or not priests could be openly gay and if they had the right to marry homosexual couples.  This sent shockwaves through the Episcopalian church and sparked our priest to write a letter to the congregation informing us that if (paraphrasing) "the Episcopalian church is going to go off a cliff, we don't need to join them."

We never went to St. Peter's again.

Now, I should say here that we didn't just make this decision lightly.  Steve wrote a letter to our priest asking for clarification and there was a bit of dialogue back and forth...we're judging the church...they are judging others...  It became more confrontational because of the word "judge", but the fact is Steve and I just don't agree with our priest on this matter.

Let me say here that I would hate for one of my children to be gay, not because I think it is immoral or a sin to be a homosexual.  Heck, I certainly don't know the Bible very well and certainly not as well as our priest and honestly I don't really care what the Bible says about homosexuality.  I don't want my children to have to face more adversary than necessary in this world and the world isn't necessarily an equal place for people who are openly gay.  If my child was to tell me he/she was gay, I would love them just as much as I did the moment before I was told.  Unconditionally.

What I wonder is if my child would ever "come out" to me if I continued to attend a church which does not believe in equal rights for all?  While I don't think a priest speaks for all of his congregation, the fact we attend a church which would like to leave the Episcopal church and join the more conservative Anglican church may make my children afraid to bring it up to me.  It goes deeper than that for me, but I think I'll just leave it at that.

Again, we were without a church.  Again, I felt burnt and very disenchanted with organized religion.

Again.

Part 3 - Home

Religious Education - Part 1

When I was little, my parents never took us to church.  Never.  Not on Christmas or Easter.  Never.  I knew nothing about what went on inside those enigmatic buildings and felt foolish to ask about such things.  Not that I blame my parents for my lack of exposure to church, I really had no interest.  Church was more of a social inconvenience for me, my friends couldn't have sleepovers on Saturday nights because of church on Sunday morning or play dates had to be cut short due to religious education during the week.

As I got a little older and attended the occasional wedding, I felt very much out of place.  All the standing, kneeling and sitting, the chanting and singing without any book to read from, it all seemed very overwhelming to me.

When Steve and I started dating, we started going to St. James Episcopal Church on Easter and Christmas.  As I sat next to him, holding his hand, I felt safe learning when to stand, kneel, and sit, but mostly fascinated with the gorgeous organ on the altar.  As time passed, I learned the Lord's Prayer and the Nicene Creed and felt more comfortable at church.  Eventually Steve and I got married and christened each of our three boys at this church.  Church became part of our lives as we got more involved in meeting people and volunteering.

My belief in God continued to be an internal struggle for me.  My doubts outweighed my beliefs but I tried to keep an open mind.  I sat in church and hoped, maybe I would even say I prayed, for a voice...a spark...a sign...of God.  I didn't ever voice my beliefs or concerns for a couple of reasons, but the biggest one was that I hadn't felt like I had explored exactly what I believed enough.  I was too busy with my other responsibilities as a mom to get in touch with my spirituality.  I continued to go to church because I wanted to give my children the religious foundation I never had as a child and thought this was a good start down the road to exploration of my spirituality.

We were members of St. James for approximately five years.  We adored our priest, had made friends, and loved that our children were warmly welcomed by the congregation every week.  We left abruptly in the summer of 2004 after we realized how different we felt about some issues, than the congregation.  I don't want to go into too much detail about it, but there weren't harsh words spoken or hurt feelings, just a realization this environment wasn't where we wanted to raise our children.

Part 2 - Our Next Step

Grandma Hoyt's Chocolate Cupcake Recipe

After trying these, you will say "These are not your kids' cupcakes!"  Dee-lish!

A couple of you have asked for my grandmother's chocolate cupcake recipe. So here goes:

Grandma Hoyt's Chocolate Cupcakes

1 cup sugar

pinch salt

2 tablespoons melted butter

1 egg, beaten

2 squares unsweetened chocolate, melted

1 cup boiling water

1 cup flour

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 teaspoon baking soda

Preheat oven to 350 F. In a large mixing bowl, stir together sugar, salt and butter. Beat in egg. Add melted chocolate and water. Make sure this is well beaten. Stir in flour, vanilla and soda. Do not over mix, batter should be lumpy. Pour batter into prepared cupcake tins. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

The icing is the part which is tricky to explain. Written on my card it says, "Icing ingredients - butter, milk, sugar, vanilla." One of the things which makes this recipe so special is that my grandmother dictated the recipe as I wrote.  I'm sure she gave better instructions than what I have written down, and my father said I never got it exactly right. I always hoped for perfection with this icing, but he died before I got the "Perfect 10".  I'd love to have one more shot for him to taste them.

But I digress.  I can give you a couple of hints about the icing. The icing is meant to be a drizzle, not spread. I would not put more than 2 tablespoons of softened butter in it and I would imagine a little salt would work in nicely. Obviously, the sugar is confectioner's sugar.

Good luck! I think I will make these cupcakes sometime this week and will update you with some better icing info. Gotta say, the cupcakes would be great with no icing at all and the bastardization of icing from a can is just not acceptable!

Enjoy! 

* Update: I made the cupcakes and icing yesterday. I used 2 tablespoons softened butter, 1 cup confectioner's sugar, 3 tablespoons milk, a pinch of salt, and a half teaspoon of vanilla. Use clear vanilla if you want pure white icing. Put a dab of icing in the center of the top and it will expand.

This was fun for me to make these cupcakes, I haven't made them in a while. The taste fondly reminds me of my grandmother and my dad. I miss making cupcakes for them!

Blizzard 2010

As promised, some more pictures of the snow for my out of town friends.

I love this one , especially of the wreath which you can't normally see since we had to paint the red doors black due to HOA regulations. Happened six months ago and I'm still not over it!

The drifting of snow after the second storm was mighty impressive! I love how the wind carved holes under the table and through the chairs. The bottom right of the picture does not do the drift justice to how cool it was!

This is a picture of our neighbor's car. He dug out the side of it so the plow would see it and not plow it into a snow pile. We might be able to see it by the Fourth of July!

Stir Crazy!

Perhaps you've heard we've had some snow...

So yesterday was the breaking point, the point you have reached when you tackle the dreaded tasks out of sheer boredom. Yes my friends, we're talking about taxes and science fair projects!

My friend Marcy has agreed to help with the unending nightmare of dealing with taxes. In desperation, I bribed her with coffee and was able to drag her out. First coffee shop was closed, be we persevered and found one open. Thanks for making an unenjoyable chore enjoyable!

The second thing we did was Trent's science fair project. I think parents dread these things more than the kids, because frankly it is a lot of work! Trent doesn't have to do a science fair project, which makes it even more painful. So, in the name of making of our kid smarter, we chomped on some gum.

You see his project was to see which gum made the biggest bubbles. We chomped and blew and chomped and blew until our jaws hurt from so much chomping and blowing. The irony which was not lost on us was that Trent can't blow bubbles, much less chew gun because of braces, so he enlisted Mom, Dad and Kyle for help.

Lucky us.

The paper below has a measuring tool and labels to help us decipher how long we had been chewing and which gum we had. All very scientific of course!

After all of this, books and TV seemed a little less boring and we returned to our caves to hunker down again. We still have Kyle's science fair project to do, but we have to wait until we can go outside...

It's explosive!

Snow Daze!

Kate and Luke during the first snow when we were all smiles.

Perhaps you have heard about our snow?

First there was the snow in December. About two feet to get us really excited for the fat man in the red suit. Ho, ho, ho! Great photos for the Christmas card and lots of fun! Snow banks piled up as high as the front-end loader could pile them and only the tip of the babies' hats could be seen over the piles of shoveled snow.

Kyle and Trent

Trent after the summit.

We enjoyed the snow, what a memory!

Little did we know what was in store. The December snow was just a taste of what Mother Nature held in store for us in February. Last weekend, the second storm hit...with gusto! It snowed for two days, sometimes at a clip of more than an inch an hour. Two and a half feet, added to the six inches we had gotten two days earlier, left us begging for mercy.

Making lemonade out of lemons, as Wellers always do (hee-hee), we made the best of it. We invited neighbors over, played some games, and went sledding. Often I laughed as I passed a window, amused by the joke Mother Nature had played on us. School is out for all week and the kids are happy! I'm getting creative with ideas, baking cookies and making valentines. Good thing we have so many people to love in our family!

Steve and Trent braving the elements, trying to carve out our cars.

Kyle displaying the absolute craziness of it all!

Today I don't feel like laughing anymore. The blizzard conditions and expected 10-20 more inches of snow isn't funny anymore. Mother Nature has blown the snow to cover all of the windows so I can't look outside anyway. Otherwise I'm sure I would be calling her something close to Mother Nature, but not quite. I've run out of ideas for the kids, one baby is sick with another soon to follow, my joints hurt...I could go on and on! I'm ready for spring!

Perhaps, upon reflection, I should find gratitude in the madness. Gratitude not only for the loving family I can share this experience with, especially my husband who continues to dig us out. A roof over my head, warm food in my belly, and kind neighbors and friends with whom to spend these cold days and nights with. Electricity which hasn't given out once (yet) and cable to keep the kiddos occupied.

I'll stay quiet with my complaints, for I am truly blessed.

(Pictures of today's storm to come, once I can open the door.)