Religious Education - Part 1

When I was little, my parents never took us to church.  Never.  Not on Christmas or Easter.  Never.  I knew nothing about what went on inside those enigmatic buildings and felt foolish to ask about such things.  Not that I blame my parents for my lack of exposure to church, I really had no interest.  Church was more of a social inconvenience for me, my friends couldn't have sleepovers on Saturday nights because of church on Sunday morning or play dates had to be cut short due to religious education during the week.

As I got a little older and attended the occasional wedding, I felt very much out of place.  All the standing, kneeling and sitting, the chanting and singing without any book to read from, it all seemed very overwhelming to me.

When Steve and I started dating, we started going to St. James Episcopal Church on Easter and Christmas.  As I sat next to him, holding his hand, I felt safe learning when to stand, kneel, and sit, but mostly fascinated with the gorgeous organ on the altar.  As time passed, I learned the Lord's Prayer and the Nicene Creed and felt more comfortable at church.  Eventually Steve and I got married and christened each of our three boys at this church.  Church became part of our lives as we got more involved in meeting people and volunteering.

My belief in God continued to be an internal struggle for me.  My doubts outweighed my beliefs but I tried to keep an open mind.  I sat in church and hoped, maybe I would even say I prayed, for a voice...a spark...a sign...of God.  I didn't ever voice my beliefs or concerns for a couple of reasons, but the biggest one was that I hadn't felt like I had explored exactly what I believed enough.  I was too busy with my other responsibilities as a mom to get in touch with my spirituality.  I continued to go to church because I wanted to give my children the religious foundation I never had as a child and thought this was a good start down the road to exploration of my spirituality.

We were members of St. James for approximately five years.  We adored our priest, had made friends, and loved that our children were warmly welcomed by the congregation every week.  We left abruptly in the summer of 2004 after we realized how different we felt about some issues, than the congregation.  I don't want to go into too much detail about it, but there weren't harsh words spoken or hurt feelings, just a realization this environment wasn't where we wanted to raise our children.

Part 2 - Our Next Step