Another Lesson Learned

Victorious Kyle!

I take the events in my children's lives seriously.  I revel in their victories and ache in their defeats.  I live vicariously through my children, it's true.  I speak this more as a confession, but know I am in good company.  There are many things in my life I wish I had done differently or had the opportunity to do and so we work hard to expose our children to many things.

I realize today we have gone overboard.  We pushed Kyle to play lacrosse this spring, even though he told us he would much rather play baseball.  We reasoned he has good stick skills and we have good connections with Steve being on the Board.  We didn't think about Kyle.  We didn't think about his lack of aggression in an older age bracket and his sensitivity to failure.  We put him out there on the field with good stick skills, but no drive.  He didn't want to "take the guy out" and sure as heck didn't want to get "taken out."

So he took the path of least resistance, showing up for practices and games but no enthusiasm.  He got beat up by the opponents and by his teammates for being a pansy.  Sometimes he would say something to us and other times he wouldn't.  My heart ached as I watched this, my sweet little boy being bullied by those jerks!

Today it hit me why my I took it so personally, this was my fault.  Kyle didn't want to be out there, but he was trying to please us.  Kyle isn't an aggressive warmonger and that's okay.  Lacrosse may not be the sport for him, he will move on and find his niche.  He loves baseball and will do that in the fall.  He's starting karate and wants to try Cub Scouts.  He's not quitting, just changing.

As a parent, I need to let go a little of living through my children.  It's a hard lesson to learn and one I will need to be reminded of from time to time.  I will always encourage my children to do their best.  For their benefit, not mine.