Nanny, Nanny...Boo, Hoo!

We are on the hunt for a nanny. I have been conflicted about this decision to begin with, mainly because it is so difficult for me to ask for help. As the summer nears, and I realize the older boys aren't going to have as many excursions as I would like with the babies, I thought it is now time to get some help. Steve is also starting a new job in mid-June which will make his time less flexible, which is what kind of got this process started.

I began getting the word out. I put a couple of ads on Craigslist, asked some friends and neighbors if they knew anyone, and even asked at the PTO meeting. Surprisingly, the most responses I got were on Craigslist, but, not so surprisingly, most were not good candidates. Though I was specific in where we live, some wanted to know if we were Metro accessible. (um...hello? We live fifty miles from DC!) Others wanted me to come pick them up. (um...) I did get a couple of good candidates so I scheduled some interviews.

I am looking for someone who can just give me an extra set of hands for about 10 hours a week. My hours are completely flexible, I can schedule my life around when I will have help, and it really is just a luxury for me and my family for us to get out and do things. Maybe we could even find someone who could watch the kids at night so Steve and I could have a date! Other than that, I really don't have many expectations...or at least I thought!

The first interview was interesting. The woman spoke some English, but was pretty difficult to understand. I was open to the idea of her speaking Spanish to our kids, I actually thought it would be awesome to expose them to a different language. She seemed to love the babies, her eyes lighting up and joyfully saying "twins?!?" when she saw there were two, but really didn't seem to savor the idea of hanging out with the older boys. I knew she wasn't the one for us when I asked her what she did for fun. "Fun? What do you mean?" (sigh) I couldn't picture myself having conversations with this woman pool-side, which made me realize I may be looking for some thing more than just a nanny. I am looking for someone with whom I can interact with as well.

Our second interview was more promising. She is a nanny for another family three days a week and a mom of an eight month-old boy who she brings along with her. This raises a red-flag for me. I am having trouble juggling two babies, how will she juggle three? Later, after speaking with her a little bit, another red-flag came to my attention. I didn't even think about how her baby would react to seeing her with other babies. (sigh) Of course, our conversations with this woman went smoothly. She has the same ideas about discipline as we do, seemed really energetic and peppy, and didn't seem overwhelmed with our five children. She even has a six year-old step-son who goes to the same school as Trent and Kyle, so she knows how to handle older children as well. While I really like her, I'm not sure she is the best candidate with her baby in tow.

We have another interview on Thursday. I am most hopeful about this one. She is a local high school student looking for a summer nanny position. I got her name through a friend who goes to the same church and this girl works in the nursery there. Since it will only be for the summer, it's not ideal. Hopefully, if it works out, we can get her on a limited basis during the school year or at least for an occasional babysitting. I will let you know how it goes.

Searching for a nanny is difficult! I am not struggling with the idea of leaving my children with a stranger as most parents who go through this interview process do. I will be with this person, getting to know him/her much before I left my children. (Wouldn't it be something if I ended up with a "Manny? I wonder how Steve would react, especially if he has Brad Pitt good looks? The boys would love it!) Steve will also be working from home about half of the time so he might hear if something was going on or if there was an emergency. The hardest part is finding someone who I like enough to have a relationship with, but someone who I could depart with if things didn't work out.

The search continues...

Five Months!

The babies are five months old! I can't believe it! Steve and I were reflecting how it seems like they have been a part of our lives forever, but it's only been five months. I don't know if that's good or bad. Nonetheless, it's been a wild ride! From the shock of finding out we were having two instead of one in June, to bed rest in October and November, and all of those spur of the moment hospital runs after counting contractions. I can't even tell you how many lists of counted contractions I found after they were born! And let's not forget the graceful fall I took off our porch! Our poor friend who turned around to find me laying belly-down on the ground. My apologies Jay!

After many, many sleepless nights we are finally sleeping! That seems to be the number one question we get from people. We separated the babies into separate cribs about a month ago after they kept punching and waking each other. Thankfully they don't seem to wake up to the other one crying because we can't separate them out of the same room! Okay, okay, you caught me! Kate has been sleeping in our room for about a month now. We started putting her in the swing to elevate her when she was congested and she started sleeping through the night. It's working for us and she will probably be in there until the swing won't move anymore from her weight. In other words, it won't budge from the pudge!

I get tons of people stopping me all the time when I'm with the babies. Everyone has a comment to make, and mostly these people are completely enjoyable to talk to. I've gotten a couple of "Double trouble" or "Better you than me" comments, but I know people mean this in a good way. I probably get the most comments when I'm in the grocery store pushing the double stroller and pulling a cart. I've got an awkward system that works for me, but it definitely catches people's eyes. My friend who also has twins (happy first birthday to them, by the way) is tired of the comments and stares and just wants to get her shopping done. For me, it's kind of a treat to have others enjoy looking at my babies. The funniest comment I always get is, "You sure do have your hands full!" while they see me with the babies and usually one other child. My response is, "You don't even know!" They are only seeing me with three of my kids! Funny!

I still struggle with trying not to short-change the babies. I gave up a long time ago worrying about my other boys. If you know them, you know they will not allow themselves to be forgotten! Kyle is so grown-up, thoughtful and helpful, Lance is stubborn but snuggly-sweet and Trent loves to sing and make up songs...more about that some other time. The babies, however, haven't figured out how to stand out from the crowd. I always feel torn who to go to when they are both crying, who should get a bottle and who I should nurse, who should get to sit in front in the stroller...the list goes on and on. I try to be equal in my endeavours and love, but am eternally grateful my older boys and my husband have so much love to give as well.

The fun has begun, however, in living with the babies! They are awake a lot more often then they were even a month ago, but are so much more entertaining. Kate has complete conversations with anyone who will talk to her, especially when talking to the baby in the mirror. Luke has this belly laugh which is absolutely contagious and he does it often! They will look at each other and smile, Kate will talk to Luke and he will giggle back. Very fun! Life is about to get a lot more interesting!

This is a great time to thank all of you again who have supported us through this exciting time of our lives. Phil and Joyce, THANK YOU! Our neighbors and friends who brought dinner and gifts, we are so grateful for you. My dear friends who have listened and supported me through the pregnancy, delivery, and first five months, I would not be sane without you! Steve...banana!

Some Recent Photos

Trent at the zoo!

Luke laughing!

Kate with her tongue out! Typical!

Lance reading to Luke.

Kyle hiding.

Being the mom of boys is hard!!!

I wrote this when we lived in Alexandria, but a recent event reminded me of it. Feel free to insert Lance or Kyle's name in place of Trent's, but Trent continues to know his way around the ladies best! If you have read this before, apologies!

My son is getting married! Trent and his girlfriend are in the kitchen right now planning the Big Event. Bella and Trent are exploring food options, the most pressing item of the moment is whether or not to have the wedding cake be chocolate. I feel for my son, he loves chocolate but will probably lose out to the more traditional vanilla. Bella has dreamed of this day her entire life, so vanilla it is. She wins that argument and moves on to how tall and elaborate the cake will be. “Maybe a fountain! Maybe fresh flowers! How about the bride and groom figurines, do you like the Lladro ones or the Precious Moments?” Trent doesn’t care what the cake looks like, he just wants chocolate.

I am listening to this conversation and trying not to interfere, but I am not happy about this arrangement. I know the future my son faces. I am a woman and I know the passionate, yet pointless, arguments my husband and I have. We fight over many little things, but they are big at the time. My husband knows if he wins an argument, he still will lose the war. Pouting, sulking, silent treatments, I do them all. They must be in the X chromosome. My poor Trent! What a sad future!

Then my mind races, "Oh my God! Forget his future, what about mine? My little baby loves someone else! I am no longer the number one woman in his life! I don’t want him to marry her! He’s not ready! Run, Trent, run!"

No, I am not being unreasonable. It seems like only yesterday we were snuggling on the couch and I was tucking him in bed. Wait! It was yesterday! You see, my little boy is only four. Bella and Trent are making the cake out of plastic food at the plastic kitchen. Later they will get out the dress up clothes. Bella will wear as much pink tulle as she weighs and Trent will find his Thing costume. What a sight! A real-life Beauty and the Beast.

Last year, when Trent was three, he met Bella. It wasn’t love at first sight, but they really seemed to have hit it off. They would play together at preschool, have periodic play dates, and then she started talking about their wedding. Her mother and I would laugh at the outrageousness of it all, Bella trying to get Trent to pretend to be the handsome prince while she went whole-hog with tiaras and sequins. It was all very innocent and cute.

Now, however, times have changed. The girls in is new class seem to have learned about Trent’s charming ways and irresistible good looks (he gets those from his dad’s side). The girls are clamoring! He comes home with love notes in his backpack and stories of playground kissing contests. The girls fight about who he loves most and who is going to marry him. It’s getting to be too much for me, he’s just a baby! I just want to scream, “HE’S MINE AND HE LOVES ME THE MOST!”

I get it, I really do. I used to be a little girl dreaming of my wedding day. Barbie, with her engagement ring poked through her hand, and Ken, with his muscular body and to-die-for blonde hair, would get married and drive off in that pink convertible every day at my house. I used to get dressed up in my mom’s old dresses and pretend I was a rock star, a princess or a bride. Yep, I know all about naming your babies at slumber parties and learning to kiss on my pillow. I remember. I did it all. Now that I’m a mom though, my perspective has changed. Lay off the boy!

I should be used to this by now. I have three boys and Trent is the middle one. My first son Kyle also has a lot of his father’s traits and is equally admired by girls. He has come home with similar stories of girls chasing him and stolen kisses. The phone hasn’t rung too much, but I’m afraid that’s next. Girls seem to love my boys. The difference between Kyle and Trent is that Kyle still thinks girls have the cooties and Trent just loves the attention. I worry about our last boy, Lance. I could have a real problem on my hands!

Don’t get me wrong, I have always wanted to be a good mother in-law. I have been blessed with a wonderful mother in-law (and I’m not just saying that because she might read this), but I have heard horror stories! My friend’s mother in-law went through her underwear drawer and pulled her husband aside to tell him that she should “wear cotton crotches because they are more hygienic”. I tell myself that won’t be me. Of course I will welcome any woman my boys bring home with open arms. There won’t be any of this silly jealousy or motherly interference when I become a mother in-law, I am SO above being petty. I will be cool, I won’t go through your underwear drawer.

Ladies, please give me some time. I need to be with my boys for a while before they take that giant leap beyond only having love for their mother. I promise to teach my boys how to treat you like a lady, be romantic and be a good father. He will learn how to wash dishes, do laundry, and cook gourmet meals. His father and I will give him the foundations for a fantastic family. I only ask for some time.

I promise to let go once all skills are mastered and he is grown up enough to be your Prince Charming. I’ll be ready. Come back and clamor in twenty years…or maybe thirty. Until then, I am keeping the backpack off-limits to notes and taking the phone off the hook!

Boys vs. Girls

Lance and Kyle were playing today. Kyle was absent due to a pending time bomb...more on that later. I didn't pay much attention, there were some planes and rockets, some action figures, and the two of them running around. There was some banter going back and forth and I started to pay attention and come up with a theory.

You see, the boys had a great conversation while they played. It went something like this:

Boy 1: "My plane is flying through the air."
Boy 2: "But my plane comes along and shoots at your plane. Bang! Bang!"
Boy 1: "But I go into a cloud so you can't find me."
Boy 2: "But my plane has a radar and can find you in the cloud. Bang! Bang!"
Boy 1: "But I have a shield that protects me from your bullets and it ricochets off of me into you. Direct hit!"
Boy 2: "But I have an ejector button and fly out of my plane with my parachute and land safely on the ground."
Boy 1: "But I eject from my plane too and come after you with my bazooka."
Boy 2: "But I turn on my invincibility so when you shoot me, I don't die."
Boy 1: "Me too!"

As a side note, we all should have the ability to turn on "invincibility" as a safe measure. I may not be an expert on how girls play, but I used to be one. Let's look at how girls play as I remember it:

Girl 1: "Let's play Barbies!"
Girl 2: "And I'll be Barbie!"
Girl 1: "And I'll be Ken, but I'm not really a boy.""
Girl 2: "And we fall deeply in love and we get married."
Girl 1: "And I wear a really pretty dress and look like a princess."
Girl 2: "And I am very handsome, but I'm not really a boy."
Girl 1: "And we live in a castle with beautiful flowers."
Girl 2: "And we live happily ever after."

As another side note, it's a fact no girl wants to be Ken, they must state throughout the play their disdain for this character.

Let's compare. Besides the obvious "Boys are violent and girls are sweet", let's dig a bit deeper. Boys are all about the "buts"and girls are all about the "ands". Their sentences continue each other thoughts, boys with the competitive "but" with another outrageous way to get away from danger and girls with the team-building "and" with another idea to make the characters happily ever after.

As I listened to Lance and Kyle today, it made me laugh. Their keen abilities to get away from danger time after time just struck me funny. When all else fails, don't forget to turn on invincibility!

Conversely Speaking

Happy 100th birthday Converse!

I always have wanted a pair of Converse shoes. Remember the days of Cyndi Lauper and Punky Brewster? Their Converse hi-top Chuck Taylors with the funky colors always were turned down, I wanted that look. Unfortunately, at the time I was not paying for my own shoes and my mother much preferred the subdued white Nikes to any pink, purple and red hi-tops. Mom won, Chuck lost. I remained very uncool in the shoe category.

As I grew older and saw the kind of people who wore Chuck Taylors, my desire for them waned. They were much more of the "grunge" look than I was going for. Kurt Cobain and the rest of "Nirvana" wore them. In fact, they have a new design out right now honoring Kurt with his signature on the heel. My brother still likes them, I can't tell you the last time I saw him in any other shoe but Chuck Taylors. Needless to say, his grungy style does not fit with my "soccer mom" image. He likes his look with the Yosemite Sam mustache, baggy jeans, and his favorite black t-shirt with "jackass" (as in Steve-O and Johnnie Knoxville) boldly written on it. No offense to my brother, but until he starts shopping at Land's End and J. Crew or I go to the Salvation Army or any novelty t-shirt place, we won't have the same style.

So I was very conflicted recently when I received a children's shoe catalog in the mail and saw the cutest Converse shoes. They were low-rise canvas shoes with multi-colored stars all over them. Super cute! I wanted them! They would go so well with my jeans and any colored t-shirt I own. I'd never seen any other shoes so cute, I'd be the talk of the town! (We live in a small town, not much else to talk about!) However, these shoes which I longed for were in the children's catalog. Bummer!

I was reminded once again of those cute shoes today as I read the paper. On the front page of the Style section was an article about Converse's birthday. I went to their website, hoping and praying I would be able to find my newest conquest. Their website is amazing! Converse has a ton of different styles, fabrics, patterns, and colors. You can create your own shoes, designing the side panels, tongue, heel, rubber sole, and even the shoelace patterns and/or colors! Absolutely fantastic! It could get a little on the obsessive, bordering on crazy side...but fantastic! If you want to check it out the website is http://www.converse.com/.

After much web searching, I found lots of patterns and styles. I can get skull and crossbones (maybe a gift idea for my brother) or animal print, but no multi-colored stars. I may have to live vicariously through my daughter and get them for her in a couple of years! Lucky girl!

The Making of a Great Day

Okay, it's been awhile. I know, I know! All of you folks out there (I'm sure there are millions) enjoying this blog must be sitting on the edge of your seat waiting to hear the wonderfully wise words I spew out. I can tell there are so many of you by the numerous comments I get...oh wait! Nonetheless, this blog is more about me and less about you so I will move on.

Today has been an extremely good day, though from the surface it won't seem that way. Luke is consistently sleeping through the night, and Kate isn't. In fact, she has been congested and is sleeping quite rottenly (is that a word?) and grunting while she breathes. Trent woke up in the middle of the night with a high fever, so high I didn't even take his temperature and just gave him medicine. I didn't send him to school which broke his heart, it was "Twins/Triplets Day" at school and he and his friends had decorated shirts to wear. Steve left super early this morning to catch a train in DC to go to NYC for the day so I was on my own for the morning routine. This can go either really well or really bad, depending on the number of times I hit the snooze button and the number of babies awake while I'm scrambling up some eggs. Then I have to drag four kids to the doctor's office because Kate and Luke have their four-month checkups today. (Kate weighed 13 lbs. 3 oz. and Luke weighed a whopping 15 lbs 2 oz.) Kate needs to be nebulized 3-4 times a day due to her congestion and wheezing and Luke has a heart murmur (!) and needs to be seen by a Cardiologist.

None of those things really sound like the start of a great day, do they? In fact considering these things all happened before 9 am, it could have been a really bad day. It wasn't. Trent and Lance were actually complimented by the crotchety pediatrician about how well-behaved they were during the babies' appointment, the weather was absolutely lovely and spring is coming, and I was able to complete some projects I've had going on around here. The kids got along really well and the weather is gorgeous. (It's the small things.) The boys and I didn't go many places today, and the babies were tired from their shots, so we actually had some conversations. Some were worthwhile, others were not. The most recent happened while I was helping Lance in the shower tonight and he was trying to "get my tush shiny" (his tush, not mine). We agreed the job was done when I needed to get the sunglasses out due to the shine! I don't think I have ever taken a shower asking myself, "Is your tush shiny enough yet?" but I may now!

The house is not spic and span and my husband is coming home late, to mention only two of my woes for the evening. I have no complaints, for I am a blessed woman with plenty of time to clean the house another time! For now, I will appreciate what I have.