A Sweet Touch to Baking

Heaven on earth- in the shape of a muffin.

Some people may not realize there is a difference between baking and cooking. Cooking is what you do for dinner, baking is what you do for dessert. Baking usually involves the oven...and sugar, butter/shortening, and lots of calories.

I enjoy cooking but find it very hard to gather up the ingredients (usually there are a lot). I am adventurous with my cooking, always on the search for a kid-approved and healthy dish to put on the table. I resolve to try something new at least once a week which will fit with all of our dietary restrictions and allergies. Unfortunately, the results are usually less than gratifying when we all sit at the table.

What I really love to do is bake! Of course I love to try new savory recipes, but my favorite things to bake are recipes from my grandmothers. They are tried and true, always consistently delicious and disappear in an instant. My favorite from my Grandma Hoyt is a wonderful recipe for chocolate cupcakes with a vanilla drizzle which would make Mr. Hershey cry. Moist and rich and all you can do to keep from reaching for another. She also could make a mean chocolate chip cookie...Nestle Toll House recipe plus one egg and extra flour to make them soft.

My favorite from my Grandma Francis...well, there are many. I love her zucchini bread recipe as well as her recipes for sugar cookies and mincemeat surprise cookies. Unbelievable! Today, however, I am making banana bread. As I mixed the batter together, mashing the disgustingly brown bananas and adding the sour milk, I just can hear her voice in my head, "The browner the bananas, the more flavor," and, "Sour milk is just milk with a little bit of vinegar." I feel closer to her as I mix the ingredients and let the loaves sit for twenty minutes before baking. Once cooled, the loaves are crunchy on the outside and moist and delicious on the inside.

These recipes make me feel a little closer to my grandmothers as I bake their recipes and share them with my children. It makes baking that much sweeter!

Kyle threatening to eat the whole thing while Lance covertly tries to steal a loaf!

Your Highness

Bath time with Luke, Lance and Kate.

As a family full of boys, we were always been very open about the word "penis" around here. It was said pretty much anywhere, anytime, and around anyone. Having a girl around has really thrown a wrench in our usual ways, however, as evident in this latest overheard conversation.

A couple of nights ago, Lance had one of our guinea pigs out and Kate wanted to play with her as well. He put her in her lap and said, "Kate be careful, she might bite your penis...or your highness...or whatever that's called."

I think we need an anatomy lesson.

Five Plus Two Equals Seven

How twins are made - Courtesy of my aunt!

My friend Jenn is pregnant with twins. When she told me chills went up my spine and tears welled in my eyes. Not tears of sadness, just a complete overwhelming of emotion for my friend. It's going to be a wild ride for her and her family, and I can't help constantly thinking about what I need to tell her, give her, and do to support her.

She's worried, of course. Worried about the health of the babies, worried about fitting them into her space, worried about her other kids. Lots of planning, lots of anxiety, and lots of anticipation. It will be so great! She has many friends and lots of family eagerly waiting to help, along with a supportive husband and excited children. Lucky babies!

I've already told her the worse part, the sleep deprivation. Thankfully this only lasts a couple of months. The best part? Way too many to count! Looking at them nestled together in there bassinet as infants, the way they play and talk to each other when they're older...all awesome! Having twins is so much fun!

When the twins are born, she will also have five children...a handful! Go Jenn Go!

Man, Woman and Child's Best Friend

Willie 1994-2010

This has been such a hard weekend. The tears which flowed freely have slowly been replaced by an empty void. No wagging tail to greet us at the door, no lumps of fur to trip over in the night and no warm pillow to lay on as we watch TV. Tough on all of us. We miss Willie so much.

The timing wasn't exactly perfect. Friday morning we had a weather-related two-hour school delay and Steve left with Willie about an hour before the kids were to leave for school. I had to take Trent to the eye doctor to fix his glasses and the plan was I to drop them off at school before I got home. Unfortunately, plans change and the doctor's office took a lot shorter than I expected, so I came home and planned to let the kids get on the bus. Steve walked in about five minutes before the kids left, thinking I had already dropped them off...without Willie. Predictably, tears from Trent and sobs from Kyle. I ended up taking them to school (they still wanted to go), and talking to Kyle's teacher just to let her know about the morning's unfortunate events.

Kyle's day was filled with a New Year's party at school and he immersed himself in a two hundred page book when he got home. Once he was told it was time to turn out the lights and go to sleep, the sobs returned. A year and a half ago when our dog Spencer died, he was sad but Willie's death has been totally different. I'm not sure if it's because he knew more about how Willie died or if just his striking wisdom and maturity, but the news of Willie's death has really hit him hard. He asked for a lock of Willie's hair to remember him and interestingly Steve was given one at the vet's office. I think he thought it would give him more comfort than it did, but death is kinda that way.

I remember when my dad died the warm thoughts, words and prayers people were so kind to offer for comfort. The outpouring of love was amazing and I swear I will always remember how fortunate I am to have the best friends and family, especially during tough moments. But after 4 years I have learned one thing about grief, nothing makes it easy. A hug is comforting, but the pain of loss lingers forever.

As Kyle's mom, watching him go through this is heart-wrenching on so many levels. Knowing he understands death, knowing he's growing up, and, above all, knowing he's going to go through this again, it's all I can do to keep myself from crumbling to the floor with this knowledge and not being able to do anything about it.

A long time ago, I kept a journal of quotes which really hit home with me. The journal is long gone and the only one I remember is one from "The Little Prince":

One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be tamed…

The deeper we love, the deeper we grieve.

Nobody Said This Was Going to be Easy

Kyle reading with Willie.

Tonight has been the hardest night of my all my nights as a parent. I haven't had many, so the competition isn't stiff. I'm not talking about hard nights like when my father passed away or the night I found out he had cancer. Those are obviously the worst, most terrible, hope I never have to go through that again nights. Tonight has been the hardest to handle as a parent, watching your child wrangle with the realities of life...and death...and not being able to protect him.

Our beloved dog Willie has taken a turn for the worse tonight. He's an old dog, 15 years as of Christmas Eve, and nothing less than a member of our family. I noticed he was increasingly not feeling well throughout the day and tonight he has gotten so he can't get up. We have put him on a comforter with room for the boys to snuggle with him. No one has left his side since we noticed he couldn't get up. Willie is deaf so words of consoling wouldn't do much good, but I explained to all of the kids that the best thing for them to do would be to pet him and show him they love him. It's just a sad, sad night.

The hardest part was watching Kyle wrestle with these emotions. I might have made a mistake tonight telling him that if we take him to the vet tomorrow, we may have to put him to sleep. I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do, but I felt like Kyle understood how much pain he is in and the loving thing to do would be to put him our of his misery. Tears and sobs followed, with choking unintelligible words. I sat there with him, one hand rubbing Kyle's back and the other rubbing Willie's head, feeling quite helpless. My little boy wanted me to protect him, save him, and I couldn't. Once he was able to calm down, he said he thought we should put Willie to sleep. Heartbreaking.

One ray of sunshine throughout this has been to love and compassion my children have shown towards our dear dog Willie tonight. We took some photos of the boys with him, Kyle taking a book and reading with him all night, and Lance's answers to all Willie's woes. He first asked me if we could give him a pill to make him feel better, washing it down with some Sprite (a trick he tried with Lance this afternoon after an allergic reaction to an apple). Before he went to bed, he was convinced Willie had a splinter. If only!

So I leave you with a very sick dog and hope that some miracle has him up tomorrow. Until then, I will share these sweet photos with you.

Trent (top) and Lance with Willie.

PS Thank you Kathleen for your kind words of wisdom from which this entry is titled.