Reflection

I have mentioned in a couple of past blogs we have done a lot of reflecting these past couple of months, starting in mid-October just about the time I went on bed rest. The last two months were the worst part of our entire "twin experience", mainly because I was in so much pain and couldn't do anything but lay in bed. It was hard for a girl who gets cabin fever the day after a snowstorm.

I asked myself a couple of days ago, "What was the worse part of the babies' first year?" As I reflected, I thought about how lucky we were. Our hospital stay was short, our healthy babies came home after three days in the hospital (no NICUs for us) and I didn't have a C-section (just a little surgery to make sure this didn't happen again). Neither Kate nor Luke had reflux, and were relatively healthy thanks to the Synagis shot (at $1,400 per shot per baby per month...thank goodness for health insurance). The big boys were very good helpers and adjusted very well to our new lives. Relatively, we dodged a lot of bullets.

But it's not easy. Trying to nurse two babies, whether singly or tandem, is hard work. If you nurse one at a time, it takes forever, and if you nurse them at the same time you feel like a milk machine. Transporting the babies required some planning. There were many times you could find me at the grocery store pushing the babies' stroller and pulling the shopping cart. I have a new-found appreciation for people in wheelchairs, navigating the world around ramps and elevators is not easy. The sleeping was difficult, but the babies were pretty easy-going about sleeping on the go, and they slept through the night at an early age.

So what's the answer? What was the hardest part? I think it was the day after Christmas. Christmas morning I woke up with a sore throat which got progressively worse throughout the day. The next day I felt miserable, I think getting up with the babies, in addition to the stress of the holiday, had finally caught up with me. Steve's Aunt Judy and Uncle Ken, whom I adore, were visiting us as well as his parents and I couldn't keep my eyes open. Finally Judy came over and told me the babies were fine and I could go take a nap. I think I slept for three hours, the best and longest stretch of sleep I'd had for six weeks! It was glorious! I woke up feeling so much better and totally recovered a couple of days later.

It was only one day and it seems so trivial, but it really was when I felt the worst and wondered if I was ever going to make it. I felt like it wasn't fair I was sick when I couldn't sleep and had to take care Kate and Luke. I'm sure a lot of moms feel this way, but it was compounded by my five week-old twins.

Anyway, I am amazed by our twins and that we actually made it! If this was the worst, it couldn't have been that bad!