I Want to Believe

Grammy in January with Luke and Kate. She really wanted to get to hold both babies and did a great job!



Grammy in October with all of our children. The babies were too wiggly for her to hold both, but she got to hold Kate.

It's funny. On Christmas Eve I couldn't sleep and felt the urge to share with others my feelings of this Christmas. So I blogged, and it was exactly midnight. The next morning, after the chaos of opening the kind and generous packages from Santa, we got a phone call that Grammy (Steve's grandmother) had passed away around 11:30 the previous night.

I'm not a deeply spiritual or religious person, I'll just put that out there, but I want to believe that I was moved by something to write that night. Whether it was just she was on my mind, or something much more divine, I will probably never know. I just know I had to write a bit about the woman whom I admired so greatly. She was the pillar of the Weller family and a spunky lady. I loved spending time with her because she always had a great sense of humor and an educated mind. She would read four or five books at a time and was much more travelled than most people I know. But her love for her family is what I enjoyed the most, she truly was proud of each of her three children, four grand children, and eleven great-grandchildren.

I have always considered God to be sort of like a Santa Claus. As children, we believe there is a piece of magic coming into our house every December to reward us for our good behavior. He reminds us to give to others and to be thankful for our blessings. As adults, many believe the same thing. There is a spiritual magic which will reward us with eternal life if we behave. God reminds us to give to others and be thankful for our blessings.

I'm not saying there isn't a God, because I am far from an expert on the subject. I go to church frequently to seek a higher power with skepticism, but still I go in hopes I will find Him. I'm also not saying there isn't a Santa, I believe there is. When my children ask me if I believe in Santa, my response is always the truthful, "I believe in the magic Santa brings." The glad tidings and joy of giving in the Christmas season is very magical to me and something I look forward to each year.

Go forth in your glory Grammy. I hope you find your beloved husband, parents and sister in eternal life. You will be missed here on Earth by all you have left behind, but your spirit lives in each of us whose lives you have touched.