Seriously, who would want to bully this guy??Gosh! Sometimes being a parent is really difficult! You always want the best for your children and will go above and beyond to protect them, for that is your job! Even when they look at you accusingly with crocodile tears after an immunization, you know you are protecting them against something much worse. It's your job, it's what good parents are supposed to do.
But what to do when you want so very, very badly to protect your child and they ask you not to? Trent told me this morning he didn't want to go to school today. Now, Trent not wanting to go to school was alarming. He loves school, kindergarten was made for kids like him! Trent not wanting to go to school is like me not wanting ice cream, Luke not wanting to eat, or Steve not wanting..never mind (this is a family blog after all). Trent loves school, 'nuff said!
Trent also likes to pull our leg. We have heard so many stories of made up new students, it's actually become a joke in our house. His most famous one is named "Raw" and he likes to get in a lot of trouble. (I think this is actually Trent's way of gauging how much trouble a certain deed would get you in.) So I heard this story this morning about a new kid named "Cly" and he's a bully and I said,"Does he sit next to Raw?" When I didn't see the little glint of a smile and tears starting rolling, I thought: 1) "What a rotten thing for me to say," and 2) "Oh no! This sounds bad."
Trent continued to cry and talk with increasing intensity. "He talks really mean to everybody and has to sit next to me FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS!" Lots more tears, lots of resistance whenever I said he was going to school...what was I going to do? My first reaction was to jump in the car, drive to the school, bang down the door and storm into the Principal's office, "MY KID'S BEING BULLIED!!!" But rationality set in, as did my desire to remain on the PTO Board, and I asked Trent if he wanted me to call his teacher. He really cried then, "No, no, no!"
Steve and I have always tried to teach our kids to be good and confident people. We have tried to instill ways for each of them to stand up for themselves instead of being bullied into doing something and to try to resolve conflicts by themselves without the need to tattle. Not that it always works, in fact Trent is usually the main offender of these teachings, so I was pretty proud of him to not want me to go to his teacher. Then again, my protective parental instincts were pretty strong and I wanted to drop-kick this "Cly" kid!
Trent and I talked about what he could say if Cly talked meanly to him and that it wouldn't be tattling if he felt he was being bullied. I had wished Kyle had been there to reinforce that telling a teacher about a bully isn't tattling because they have a "No Bullying" rule at school (really, it's true). I promised Trent I wouldn't call his teacher today if he promised to tell me what happened at school when he got home and the deal was struck. As he drove off on the school bus, my heart was broken. My little Trentie was being bullied and he won't let me help him! Was I more upset for him or me? Good question.
The school day is almost over and we have to go into town to get him a new backpack. The car is always a great place to have these kind of conversations, captive audience! I hope he was able to stick up for himself and his friend (who I later learned from his mom who brought it up to me) and he put Cly in his place. If not, look out! I may be breaking down doors and drop-kicking some little bully yet!
But what to do when you want so very, very badly to protect your child and they ask you not to? Trent told me this morning he didn't want to go to school today. Now, Trent not wanting to go to school was alarming. He loves school, kindergarten was made for kids like him! Trent not wanting to go to school is like me not wanting ice cream, Luke not wanting to eat, or Steve not wanting..never mind (this is a family blog after all). Trent loves school, 'nuff said!
Trent also likes to pull our leg. We have heard so many stories of made up new students, it's actually become a joke in our house. His most famous one is named "Raw" and he likes to get in a lot of trouble. (I think this is actually Trent's way of gauging how much trouble a certain deed would get you in.) So I heard this story this morning about a new kid named "Cly" and he's a bully and I said,"Does he sit next to Raw?" When I didn't see the little glint of a smile and tears starting rolling, I thought: 1) "What a rotten thing for me to say," and 2) "Oh no! This sounds bad."
Trent continued to cry and talk with increasing intensity. "He talks really mean to everybody and has to sit next to me FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS!" Lots more tears, lots of resistance whenever I said he was going to school...what was I going to do? My first reaction was to jump in the car, drive to the school, bang down the door and storm into the Principal's office, "MY KID'S BEING BULLIED!!!" But rationality set in, as did my desire to remain on the PTO Board, and I asked Trent if he wanted me to call his teacher. He really cried then, "No, no, no!"
Steve and I have always tried to teach our kids to be good and confident people. We have tried to instill ways for each of them to stand up for themselves instead of being bullied into doing something and to try to resolve conflicts by themselves without the need to tattle. Not that it always works, in fact Trent is usually the main offender of these teachings, so I was pretty proud of him to not want me to go to his teacher. Then again, my protective parental instincts were pretty strong and I wanted to drop-kick this "Cly" kid!
Trent and I talked about what he could say if Cly talked meanly to him and that it wouldn't be tattling if he felt he was being bullied. I had wished Kyle had been there to reinforce that telling a teacher about a bully isn't tattling because they have a "No Bullying" rule at school (really, it's true). I promised Trent I wouldn't call his teacher today if he promised to tell me what happened at school when he got home and the deal was struck. As he drove off on the school bus, my heart was broken. My little Trentie was being bullied and he won't let me help him! Was I more upset for him or me? Good question.
The school day is almost over and we have to go into town to get him a new backpack. The car is always a great place to have these kind of conversations, captive audience! I hope he was able to stick up for himself and his friend (who I later learned from his mom who brought it up to me) and he put Cly in his place. If not, look out! I may be breaking down doors and drop-kicking some little bully yet!
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