Here We Go

I knew we were on the cusp of puberty with my nine year-old.  Every time he says, "Mom, can I ask you something?" I start to twitch.  I don't think he has noticed my serious apprehension to what is next to come out of his mouth and thankfully each question has been something very benign.  Examples, "What would happen if we put just a little bit of foil in the microwave?" or "Did you know that a bull is actually really careful in a china shop?"  WHEW!  Somehow I have avoided "the talk" or any other mention of sex from my pre-pubescent son.

Until now.

What I didn't realize was my first uncomfortable conversation was going to be with my five year old.  Steve has been sick all weekend in bed and by Sunday night, I'm spent.  The children were all fed and I was killing time until 8:00 when I could put the babies down so we were watching a little Sesame Street.  Elmo was trying to figure out what dance he should do for their "Street Party."

I know what you're thinking...how in the world does Sesame Street lead to uncomfortable conversations?  Well, there were lots of different dancers with many of the ladies who were scantily cladded.  After about the third showing of the dancers LA exclaims, "Not sexy ladies again!"  I (stupidly) respond, "You don't like sexy ladies?"  His response, "Whenever I see them they make my penis go up."

Silence.

Silence.

I guess I should be relieved all his parts work and apparently he is a heterosexual (more about that later), but I'm going to have to process this for a while.

Now I'm even more scared about what will come out of the nine year-old's mouth!