Blogs are an interesting thing. I love checking on my favorites and seeing what my friends are doing. Some of the blogs can be so thought-provoking or laugh-out-loud funny. I sometimes feel like a voyeur when reading these blogs, reading some very personal things.
My blog is just about my life. I'm not very interesting. I'm your typical mom in LoCo. I wear Danko shoes in the winter and flip-flops in the summer. My everyday uniform is a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, with a design if I'm feeling particularly spicy. I drive a minivan. I lose my patience. I own a couple of soccer mom chairs and which have been dragged to more kids' sporting events than I can count. I'm a very typical mom with a very typical life, so why do I write?
I started writing to entertain myself, as well as to keep my friends and family up-to-date on the latest happenings in our small village. Sometimes I have a hard time finding the time, and other times (like tonight) the words are spewing from my fingers. Nonetheless, it's something I enjoy.
Sometimes I forget my blog is open for the world to see. I write to an audience of those who I know are reading because they usually send me a comment or an email (you know who you are). Recently I have found more people are checking up on me than I realize. I think much of this is due to the exposure I'm getting on Facebook and a bit by word of mouth, but it's very flattering people are taking an interest in what I have to say.
Thank you for your time. Feedback is appreciated!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Neurotic
We are getting ready for a trip to North Carolina to see Steve's parents. We are going to celebrate Thanksgiving with them, along with Steve's brother, his wife and their two boys. It will be the first time we have been there since the summer and the first time Steve's brother and his family have ever been. It will be a full house with a lot of action, the cat will surely never be seen!
Packing has been a breeze, the kids have been helping. I've baked a couple of gluten-free things and bought a couple more for bringing down. No problem! The problem is the house...I'm neurotic about making sure it is spotless before we leave.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't like coming home from a trip to a messy house. Heck, I don't even like coming home from the grocery store to a messy house (though it happens more frequently than I care to admit). There's plenty of laundry and unpacking to do when you are home, I certainly don't want to be faced with vacuuming when I walk in the door as well.
But I'm worse than most, I am a raging, out of control, throw anything that gets in my way maniac when I get ready for a trip. Toilets scrubbed, windows cleaned, furniture dusted, wood floors mopped...check, check, check, check! It's obsessive! I think it's even gotten a bit worse each time we go away, tomorrow I am having our carpets professionally cleaned. The next time who knows what length I will go to???
So happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm sure I will find my many blessings as soon as I finish with the kitchen counters!
Packing has been a breeze, the kids have been helping. I've baked a couple of gluten-free things and bought a couple more for bringing down. No problem! The problem is the house...I'm neurotic about making sure it is spotless before we leave.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't like coming home from a trip to a messy house. Heck, I don't even like coming home from the grocery store to a messy house (though it happens more frequently than I care to admit). There's plenty of laundry and unpacking to do when you are home, I certainly don't want to be faced with vacuuming when I walk in the door as well.
But I'm worse than most, I am a raging, out of control, throw anything that gets in my way maniac when I get ready for a trip. Toilets scrubbed, windows cleaned, furniture dusted, wood floors mopped...check, check, check, check! It's obsessive! I think it's even gotten a bit worse each time we go away, tomorrow I am having our carpets professionally cleaned. The next time who knows what length I will go to???
So happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm sure I will find my many blessings as soon as I finish with the kitchen counters!
Interesting View
Before I became a full-time mom, I was a special education teacher. I taught all sorts of children with special needs, but mainly those with mental retardation. It was a job I loved, but it wore me out each and every day. The kids I worked with presented me with some of the most difficult challenges I have ever faced, but it was rewarding. The school was a special education center for students from ages 12 to 22, so they were there for awhile. It was a wonderful chance for the staff to get to know the parents very well.
One of the things I am most proud of when I was teaching was starting a parent support group at the school after learning how different parenting was for parents of special-needs kids. I tried to start a sibling support group as well, but it didn't take off. The parent group was a great way for me to learn about the concerns of the parents, especially as their children got older. I had lawyers, social workers, teachers, and many other specialists come to talk to the group and I hope they found it worthwhile.
That was when I was a teacher...now I'm a parent. Things are so much different as a parent. I always said the best teachers are parents so they can see both sides. Now I'm beginning to think the best special education teachers should have special needs kids.
Steve and I have been worried about Kyle for a couple of years in regards to his learning. At age two we had him tested for a language delay, but he was found ineligible for speech services. In kindergarten and first grade, he was eligible for summer school because of his low achievement in reading. When we moved, we had him repeat first grade. It wasn't a perfect solution to the problem, but was probably one of the best things we did for him.
Since then, Kyle has really done well. He is reading above grade-level and especially loves science and social studies. His math skills are great, he's a great student and his teachers love him. The biggest issue is his spelling. It stinks! We can't figure out why, but he has trouble with even the most basic words. Every year we try to work on this with him, but his frustration level is getting higher whenever he writes. Something must be done!
And so this afternoon I sat at a large conference table, a place I have sat plenty of times before as a teacher, but this time I was the parent. We talked about ways to help my dear mispeller and tears came to my eyes as I spoke of how hard this was. As a teacher, I never thought such a meeting would be so emotional, but now I'm sitting on the other side of the table. These teachers and psychologist and administrator were talking about my son! He's not spelling well, his written language is not holding true to his full potential. It pains me to think of accommodations which may have to be made for Kyle to help him with his spelling, but which also make him stand out. A Franklin speller in his desk or working on the computer when everyone else is writing at their desk can lead to teasing and other problems for Kyle.
As I reflect on the meeting and my tears, I know we are on the right path to helping my boy. The specialists at his school will find the right tools to help him to spell and they will have our full support at home. I'm just hoping it doesn't create more problems!
One of the things I am most proud of when I was teaching was starting a parent support group at the school after learning how different parenting was for parents of special-needs kids. I tried to start a sibling support group as well, but it didn't take off. The parent group was a great way for me to learn about the concerns of the parents, especially as their children got older. I had lawyers, social workers, teachers, and many other specialists come to talk to the group and I hope they found it worthwhile.
That was when I was a teacher...now I'm a parent. Things are so much different as a parent. I always said the best teachers are parents so they can see both sides. Now I'm beginning to think the best special education teachers should have special needs kids.
Steve and I have been worried about Kyle for a couple of years in regards to his learning. At age two we had him tested for a language delay, but he was found ineligible for speech services. In kindergarten and first grade, he was eligible for summer school because of his low achievement in reading. When we moved, we had him repeat first grade. It wasn't a perfect solution to the problem, but was probably one of the best things we did for him.
Since then, Kyle has really done well. He is reading above grade-level and especially loves science and social studies. His math skills are great, he's a great student and his teachers love him. The biggest issue is his spelling. It stinks! We can't figure out why, but he has trouble with even the most basic words. Every year we try to work on this with him, but his frustration level is getting higher whenever he writes. Something must be done!
And so this afternoon I sat at a large conference table, a place I have sat plenty of times before as a teacher, but this time I was the parent. We talked about ways to help my dear mispeller and tears came to my eyes as I spoke of how hard this was. As a teacher, I never thought such a meeting would be so emotional, but now I'm sitting on the other side of the table. These teachers and psychologist and administrator were talking about my son! He's not spelling well, his written language is not holding true to his full potential. It pains me to think of accommodations which may have to be made for Kyle to help him with his spelling, but which also make him stand out. A Franklin speller in his desk or working on the computer when everyone else is writing at their desk can lead to teasing and other problems for Kyle.
As I reflect on the meeting and my tears, I know we are on the right path to helping my boy. The specialists at his school will find the right tools to help him to spell and they will have our full support at home. I'm just hoping it doesn't create more problems!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
One year!
Sure looks like they had fun, despite the low-profile party! I guess you add chocolate cake to anything and you have a good time!
As I begin this blog, I have been the mom of five children for exactly one year, one day, one hour and one minute. Today was the twins' first birthday and I can't believe we have made it through one year. It's funny as I write the word "twin" because I never call them that. To me, they are just babies who happen to be the same age so I call them "the babies". It's weird when I hear people refer to them as "the twins" because it is just not a word we use very often.
I don't think we are too extraordinary in the infrequent use of the word. One of my friends has a set of twins who are in kindergarten now. It wasn't until this year they came home asking what a twin was. That story shocked me this summer when I heard it, but not so much anymore. I don't think it will be that extreme with Kate and Luke, but the word just isn't used that often. I think it would probably be used even less frequently if they were the same gender.
Anyway, we made it. The celebration wasn't all glitz and glamor as I had planned. When they were born, I had heard a story of a friend of a friend who had an adult cocktail party to celebrate their twins' birthday. I thought this was a fabulous idea! As the time got closer (and our basement wasn't done), I realized I really didn't have the energy. The children birthdays in our family are all crammed into three months. Honestly, I'm kind of birthday-ed out. This is the only year I will be able to get away with not having a party for them, so I'm taking advantage!
As I reflect on the last year, it wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be. I still wouldn't wish twins upon my worst enemy, because it is certainly not an easy task. The divorce rate of parents with twins is super-high and I can understand why. Thankfully Steve and I seem to have weathered the storm pretty well, but we had our moments of complete frustration and exasperation.
In the beginning the hardest part was the sleep deprivation. Kate and Luke were up every two hours wanting to nurse. I tried to tandem-nurse them but I felt much more like a machine than any kind of nurturing mother. We tried me feeding one baby and then another, which worked out better but had me up twice as long. Steve tried helping, but he had to work the next day and also had the biological advantage of not lactating. By some stroke of luck, and the introduction of bottles, we had babies who slept through the night earlier than the other boys. Luke slept through at 2 1/2 months and Kate at 4 months. Things got much better after we were able to sleep.
These days the hardest part is transporting them. Luke is clocking in at about 27 lbs. and Kate is a much more petite 22 lbs. Together I am lugging around almost 50 lbs. of baby! I don't carry them at the same time very often, mainly because I am afraid of falling, but there are times when I must. When I am out running errands or taking Lance to school, they are usually in their stroller. I am especially envious of parents of single babies on days when it's raining and they are running in with their baby on their hip and I am hunkered down underneath the semi-dry hatchback of my minivan trying to wrestle a baby into his and her stroller seat. Isn't it appropriate for the babies' birthday, Momma got them a new stroller?
So happy birthday Kate and Luke! We are so, so blessed to have you in our family. We love you both to the moon and back and I can't imagine my life without you in it.
I don't think we are too extraordinary in the infrequent use of the word. One of my friends has a set of twins who are in kindergarten now. It wasn't until this year they came home asking what a twin was. That story shocked me this summer when I heard it, but not so much anymore. I don't think it will be that extreme with Kate and Luke, but the word just isn't used that often. I think it would probably be used even less frequently if they were the same gender.
Anyway, we made it. The celebration wasn't all glitz and glamor as I had planned. When they were born, I had heard a story of a friend of a friend who had an adult cocktail party to celebrate their twins' birthday. I thought this was a fabulous idea! As the time got closer (and our basement wasn't done), I realized I really didn't have the energy. The children birthdays in our family are all crammed into three months. Honestly, I'm kind of birthday-ed out. This is the only year I will be able to get away with not having a party for them, so I'm taking advantage!
As I reflect on the last year, it wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be. I still wouldn't wish twins upon my worst enemy, because it is certainly not an easy task. The divorce rate of parents with twins is super-high and I can understand why. Thankfully Steve and I seem to have weathered the storm pretty well, but we had our moments of complete frustration and exasperation.
In the beginning the hardest part was the sleep deprivation. Kate and Luke were up every two hours wanting to nurse. I tried to tandem-nurse them but I felt much more like a machine than any kind of nurturing mother. We tried me feeding one baby and then another, which worked out better but had me up twice as long. Steve tried helping, but he had to work the next day and also had the biological advantage of not lactating. By some stroke of luck, and the introduction of bottles, we had babies who slept through the night earlier than the other boys. Luke slept through at 2 1/2 months and Kate at 4 months. Things got much better after we were able to sleep.
These days the hardest part is transporting them. Luke is clocking in at about 27 lbs. and Kate is a much more petite 22 lbs. Together I am lugging around almost 50 lbs. of baby! I don't carry them at the same time very often, mainly because I am afraid of falling, but there are times when I must. When I am out running errands or taking Lance to school, they are usually in their stroller. I am especially envious of parents of single babies on days when it's raining and they are running in with their baby on their hip and I am hunkered down underneath the semi-dry hatchback of my minivan trying to wrestle a baby into his and her stroller seat. Isn't it appropriate for the babies' birthday, Momma got them a new stroller?
So happy birthday Kate and Luke! We are so, so blessed to have you in our family. We love you both to the moon and back and I can't imagine my life without you in it.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Kyle, You're Pants are on Fire
I check a handful of blogs almost every day and am always thrilled when a new post is up. Many times it is some recent photos of my friends' children or a cute little story, but others have brought me to tears with their sentimental reflections. (Thanks Sara). I'm sorry if I don't have the humor or sentimentality, much less the time to write, but thanks for checking up on me. You never know when you will be surprised!
Kyle is our oldest. He's also the most mature, mainly because of his age but he is a good kid and we are very proud of him. He's our go-to when we need the truth to a story or a quick job done without a fight. Kyle's our guy...or so we thought.
This week the book fair was at Kyle and Trent's school. As a kid, I remember the excitement of the book fair. Being in the library with books you could take home FOREVER was one of my favorite times of he school year! I would peruse the books and pick out some of my favorites. Books were one of my passions as a kids, especially loving Ramona and her naughtiness (I really related to that girl in a alter-ego kind of way) and Judy Blume and her naughtiness (periods...gasp!...and worse). My pile of books I chose at the book fair usually came up to my nose, and I was usually disappointed when I came home with only five books.
My boys get to go to the book fair during their library time at school, but I always take them rather than sending them to school with money. It's another of my many ways to live vicariously through my kids. My plan was to take the boys to the book fair at school on Tuesday after school when I had to pick them up from an after-school club. I was going to be there anyway, one less trip of dragging the babies out. There is only one rule, only books. None of these stupid little magnet kits, puppy puzzles, stuffed Cliffords...nope! Only books! The sky's the limit, pretty much.
The ultimate literary Utopia was destroyed this year by my "go-to" guy. On Tuesday afternoon, I get a phone call from the school that Kyle has a tummy ache and can he come straight home instead of going to the after-school club. Not a big deal, send him on home. As he gets off the bus stop, he tells me someone had bought him books at the book fair. I question it a little, thinking a friend of my or his teacher had bought him a small book or something. It's only when he starts to pull out his book fair booty that things start to unravel. Book after book, science kit after plush toy...hmmm.
Me: Who bought these for you?
Him: I forget.
Me: Was it an adult or a kid? (As I'm adding up the merchandise in my head to total more than $31.)
Him: Adult, I forget who.
Me: (pause)
Him: (pause)
Steve walks in to the kitchen at this point and asks what was going on. I tell him Kyle's story ("story" being the key word). Steve questions him more and asks him to empty his pockets. That's when Kyle starts to sob, wanting much more to go to his room than to continue this conversation. Turns out he stole a $50 bill from us and used it at the book fair. He was aptly punished from friends and TV for the week and cannot take money to school for the rest of the year.
But the punishment weighed heavily on me. I couldn't take Kyle to the book fair. No books for Kyle this year. I had to return all of the book fair paraphernalia he had bought. Next year's book fair will probably remind me of this incident, but book fairs will probably not always be tainted in my mind. I will get over it.
Steve, however, is having a harder time with this little lying episode. He wonders how Kyle really thought he could get away with this. If he had taken the books up to his room with little fanfare, we probably wouldn't have been the wiser. Steve can't believe his son is such a terrible liar and why he didn't think this through more. It's really bothering him!
I'd like to think he's not a good liar because he hasn't gotten much practice. I'd like to keep it that way! I want my "go-to Kyle back!
Kyle is our oldest. He's also the most mature, mainly because of his age but he is a good kid and we are very proud of him. He's our go-to when we need the truth to a story or a quick job done without a fight. Kyle's our guy...or so we thought.
This week the book fair was at Kyle and Trent's school. As a kid, I remember the excitement of the book fair. Being in the library with books you could take home FOREVER was one of my favorite times of he school year! I would peruse the books and pick out some of my favorites. Books were one of my passions as a kids, especially loving Ramona and her naughtiness (I really related to that girl in a alter-ego kind of way) and Judy Blume and her naughtiness (periods...gasp!...and worse). My pile of books I chose at the book fair usually came up to my nose, and I was usually disappointed when I came home with only five books.
My boys get to go to the book fair during their library time at school, but I always take them rather than sending them to school with money. It's another of my many ways to live vicariously through my kids. My plan was to take the boys to the book fair at school on Tuesday after school when I had to pick them up from an after-school club. I was going to be there anyway, one less trip of dragging the babies out. There is only one rule, only books. None of these stupid little magnet kits, puppy puzzles, stuffed Cliffords...nope! Only books! The sky's the limit, pretty much.
The ultimate literary Utopia was destroyed this year by my "go-to" guy. On Tuesday afternoon, I get a phone call from the school that Kyle has a tummy ache and can he come straight home instead of going to the after-school club. Not a big deal, send him on home. As he gets off the bus stop, he tells me someone had bought him books at the book fair. I question it a little, thinking a friend of my or his teacher had bought him a small book or something. It's only when he starts to pull out his book fair booty that things start to unravel. Book after book, science kit after plush toy...hmmm.
Me: Who bought these for you?
Him: I forget.
Me: Was it an adult or a kid? (As I'm adding up the merchandise in my head to total more than $31.)
Him: Adult, I forget who.
Me: (pause)
Him: (pause)
Steve walks in to the kitchen at this point and asks what was going on. I tell him Kyle's story ("story" being the key word). Steve questions him more and asks him to empty his pockets. That's when Kyle starts to sob, wanting much more to go to his room than to continue this conversation. Turns out he stole a $50 bill from us and used it at the book fair. He was aptly punished from friends and TV for the week and cannot take money to school for the rest of the year.
But the punishment weighed heavily on me. I couldn't take Kyle to the book fair. No books for Kyle this year. I had to return all of the book fair paraphernalia he had bought. Next year's book fair will probably remind me of this incident, but book fairs will probably not always be tainted in my mind. I will get over it.
Steve, however, is having a harder time with this little lying episode. He wonders how Kyle really thought he could get away with this. If he had taken the books up to his room with little fanfare, we probably wouldn't have been the wiser. Steve can't believe his son is such a terrible liar and why he didn't think this through more. It's really bothering him!
I'd like to think he's not a good liar because he hasn't gotten much practice. I'd like to keep it that way! I want my "go-to Kyle back!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Playdate Drama
I got a phone call this summer from a mom of one of Trent's friends. She wanted to get the boys together for a playdate, but this is the same boy who gave Trent so much trouble in kindergarten (you may remember this) so I never called her back. She called back again a couple of weeks ago and I felt bad. I called her and she asked if Trent could come over one day after school. Knowing Trent, I knew that wouldn't go over very well so I invited his "friend" to come over here.
I later told Trent about the upcoming playdate. He flipped out! "C. is mean. I don't want him to come over here." We went through this for about a week. Then Tuesday we were in full-on cry mode. Trent didn't want him to come over. No way. No how. "Call his mom right now," he said. There was a problem with that. If I cancel the playdate, she would want to reschedule. If I told her the truth, Trent was going to have to face this kid at school on Wednesday and probably explain to his face why he doesn't like him.
This presents a huge problem for Trent. Although he is very opinionated about his likes and dislikes at home, he is a pleaser at school. His teacher said at our conference he has such a hard time deciding on who to sit with at lunch or who to play with at recess because he doesn't want to hurt peoples' feelings. (Are we talking about the same kid?) She says everyone really likes him at school. The poor boy si just too liked. Apparently that's the reason C.wants to play with Trent.
He came up with a whole bunch of wildly ridiculous ideas to excuse himself from the playdate: "Tell his mom we go to the grocery store after school every day." (Okay, I DO go to the store every day, but surely not with five kids in tow.) "Tell his mom I got invited to a birthday party." (The day before?)
We finally solved his anxiety by saying that if C. was mean, I would call his mom and ask her to come get him. In the meantime, his brothers came up with some solutions of their own. The most recent one, and the one which stuck, was to give him an "atomic wedgie" if he treats Trent badly. Trent laughed when this was mentioned, especially when Lance said he probably wears pink underwear.
So my boys will stand up for one another albeit not with the most appropriate responses. We're so proud!
I later told Trent about the upcoming playdate. He flipped out! "C. is mean. I don't want him to come over here." We went through this for about a week. Then Tuesday we were in full-on cry mode. Trent didn't want him to come over. No way. No how. "Call his mom right now," he said. There was a problem with that. If I cancel the playdate, she would want to reschedule. If I told her the truth, Trent was going to have to face this kid at school on Wednesday and probably explain to his face why he doesn't like him.
This presents a huge problem for Trent. Although he is very opinionated about his likes and dislikes at home, he is a pleaser at school. His teacher said at our conference he has such a hard time deciding on who to sit with at lunch or who to play with at recess because he doesn't want to hurt peoples' feelings. (Are we talking about the same kid?) She says everyone really likes him at school. The poor boy si just too liked. Apparently that's the reason C.wants to play with Trent.
He came up with a whole bunch of wildly ridiculous ideas to excuse himself from the playdate: "Tell his mom we go to the grocery store after school every day." (Okay, I DO go to the store every day, but surely not with five kids in tow.) "Tell his mom I got invited to a birthday party." (The day before?)
We finally solved his anxiety by saying that if C. was mean, I would call his mom and ask her to come get him. In the meantime, his brothers came up with some solutions of their own. The most recent one, and the one which stuck, was to give him an "atomic wedgie" if he treats Trent badly. Trent laughed when this was mentioned, especially when Lance said he probably wears pink underwear.
So my boys will stand up for one another albeit not with the most appropriate responses. We're so proud!
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