Five Months!

The babies are five months old! I can't believe it! Steve and I were reflecting how it seems like they have been a part of our lives forever, but it's only been five months. I don't know if that's good or bad. Nonetheless, it's been a wild ride! From the shock of finding out we were having two instead of one in June, to bed rest in October and November, and all of those spur of the moment hospital runs after counting contractions. I can't even tell you how many lists of counted contractions I found after they were born! And let's not forget the graceful fall I took off our porch! Our poor friend who turned around to find me laying belly-down on the ground. My apologies Jay!

After many, many sleepless nights we are finally sleeping! That seems to be the number one question we get from people. We separated the babies into separate cribs about a month ago after they kept punching and waking each other. Thankfully they don't seem to wake up to the other one crying because we can't separate them out of the same room! Okay, okay, you caught me! Kate has been sleeping in our room for about a month now. We started putting her in the swing to elevate her when she was congested and she started sleeping through the night. It's working for us and she will probably be in there until the swing won't move anymore from her weight. In other words, it won't budge from the pudge!

I get tons of people stopping me all the time when I'm with the babies. Everyone has a comment to make, and mostly these people are completely enjoyable to talk to. I've gotten a couple of "Double trouble" or "Better you than me" comments, but I know people mean this in a good way. I probably get the most comments when I'm in the grocery store pushing the double stroller and pulling a cart. I've got an awkward system that works for me, but it definitely catches people's eyes. My friend who also has twins (happy first birthday to them, by the way) is tired of the comments and stares and just wants to get her shopping done. For me, it's kind of a treat to have others enjoy looking at my babies. The funniest comment I always get is, "You sure do have your hands full!" while they see me with the babies and usually one other child. My response is, "You don't even know!" They are only seeing me with three of my kids! Funny!

I still struggle with trying not to short-change the babies. I gave up a long time ago worrying about my other boys. If you know them, you know they will not allow themselves to be forgotten! Kyle is so grown-up, thoughtful and helpful, Lance is stubborn but snuggly-sweet and Trent loves to sing and make up songs...more about that some other time. The babies, however, haven't figured out how to stand out from the crowd. I always feel torn who to go to when they are both crying, who should get a bottle and who I should nurse, who should get to sit in front in the stroller...the list goes on and on. I try to be equal in my endeavours and love, but am eternally grateful my older boys and my husband have so much love to give as well.

The fun has begun, however, in living with the babies! They are awake a lot more often then they were even a month ago, but are so much more entertaining. Kate has complete conversations with anyone who will talk to her, especially when talking to the baby in the mirror. Luke has this belly laugh which is absolutely contagious and he does it often! They will look at each other and smile, Kate will talk to Luke and he will giggle back. Very fun! Life is about to get a lot more interesting!

This is a great time to thank all of you again who have supported us through this exciting time of our lives. Phil and Joyce, THANK YOU! Our neighbors and friends who brought dinner and gifts, we are so grateful for you. My dear friends who have listened and supported me through the pregnancy, delivery, and first five months, I would not be sane without you! Steve...banana!

Some Recent Photos

Trent at the zoo!

Luke laughing!

Kate with her tongue out! Typical!

Lance reading to Luke.

Kyle hiding.

Being the mom of boys is hard!!!

I wrote this when we lived in Alexandria, but a recent event reminded me of it. Feel free to insert Lance or Kyle's name in place of Trent's, but Trent continues to know his way around the ladies best! If you have read this before, apologies!

My son is getting married! Trent and his girlfriend are in the kitchen right now planning the Big Event. Bella and Trent are exploring food options, the most pressing item of the moment is whether or not to have the wedding cake be chocolate. I feel for my son, he loves chocolate but will probably lose out to the more traditional vanilla. Bella has dreamed of this day her entire life, so vanilla it is. She wins that argument and moves on to how tall and elaborate the cake will be. “Maybe a fountain! Maybe fresh flowers! How about the bride and groom figurines, do you like the Lladro ones or the Precious Moments?” Trent doesn’t care what the cake looks like, he just wants chocolate.

I am listening to this conversation and trying not to interfere, but I am not happy about this arrangement. I know the future my son faces. I am a woman and I know the passionate, yet pointless, arguments my husband and I have. We fight over many little things, but they are big at the time. My husband knows if he wins an argument, he still will lose the war. Pouting, sulking, silent treatments, I do them all. They must be in the X chromosome. My poor Trent! What a sad future!

Then my mind races, "Oh my God! Forget his future, what about mine? My little baby loves someone else! I am no longer the number one woman in his life! I don’t want him to marry her! He’s not ready! Run, Trent, run!"

No, I am not being unreasonable. It seems like only yesterday we were snuggling on the couch and I was tucking him in bed. Wait! It was yesterday! You see, my little boy is only four. Bella and Trent are making the cake out of plastic food at the plastic kitchen. Later they will get out the dress up clothes. Bella will wear as much pink tulle as she weighs and Trent will find his Thing costume. What a sight! A real-life Beauty and the Beast.

Last year, when Trent was three, he met Bella. It wasn’t love at first sight, but they really seemed to have hit it off. They would play together at preschool, have periodic play dates, and then she started talking about their wedding. Her mother and I would laugh at the outrageousness of it all, Bella trying to get Trent to pretend to be the handsome prince while she went whole-hog with tiaras and sequins. It was all very innocent and cute.

Now, however, times have changed. The girls in is new class seem to have learned about Trent’s charming ways and irresistible good looks (he gets those from his dad’s side). The girls are clamoring! He comes home with love notes in his backpack and stories of playground kissing contests. The girls fight about who he loves most and who is going to marry him. It’s getting to be too much for me, he’s just a baby! I just want to scream, “HE’S MINE AND HE LOVES ME THE MOST!”

I get it, I really do. I used to be a little girl dreaming of my wedding day. Barbie, with her engagement ring poked through her hand, and Ken, with his muscular body and to-die-for blonde hair, would get married and drive off in that pink convertible every day at my house. I used to get dressed up in my mom’s old dresses and pretend I was a rock star, a princess or a bride. Yep, I know all about naming your babies at slumber parties and learning to kiss on my pillow. I remember. I did it all. Now that I’m a mom though, my perspective has changed. Lay off the boy!

I should be used to this by now. I have three boys and Trent is the middle one. My first son Kyle also has a lot of his father’s traits and is equally admired by girls. He has come home with similar stories of girls chasing him and stolen kisses. The phone hasn’t rung too much, but I’m afraid that’s next. Girls seem to love my boys. The difference between Kyle and Trent is that Kyle still thinks girls have the cooties and Trent just loves the attention. I worry about our last boy, Lance. I could have a real problem on my hands!

Don’t get me wrong, I have always wanted to be a good mother in-law. I have been blessed with a wonderful mother in-law (and I’m not just saying that because she might read this), but I have heard horror stories! My friend’s mother in-law went through her underwear drawer and pulled her husband aside to tell him that she should “wear cotton crotches because they are more hygienic”. I tell myself that won’t be me. Of course I will welcome any woman my boys bring home with open arms. There won’t be any of this silly jealousy or motherly interference when I become a mother in-law, I am SO above being petty. I will be cool, I won’t go through your underwear drawer.

Ladies, please give me some time. I need to be with my boys for a while before they take that giant leap beyond only having love for their mother. I promise to teach my boys how to treat you like a lady, be romantic and be a good father. He will learn how to wash dishes, do laundry, and cook gourmet meals. His father and I will give him the foundations for a fantastic family. I only ask for some time.

I promise to let go once all skills are mastered and he is grown up enough to be your Prince Charming. I’ll be ready. Come back and clamor in twenty years…or maybe thirty. Until then, I am keeping the backpack off-limits to notes and taking the phone off the hook!